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Author Topic: One way or another this is going to kill me.  (Read 227 times)

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Offline Lo213

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One way or another this is going to kill me.
« on: December 25, 2013, 10:29:44 PM »
I read an article today about how of you think your stress is negatively affecting your health that you're over twice as likely to suffer a heart attack. Which is my biggest (and pretty much only) fear. So maybe now the chest/jaw/arm/back pressure/pain/tingling/tightness is all in my head, but one day it won't be. I try so hard to just live my life with the attitude that I'm going to die at some point no matter what so I might as well enjoy it, but there's this voice in my head constantly telling me that the pains and whatnot are warning signs of danger. I don't enjoy precious moments with my family because I constantly fear that it's my last. And I can't find anyone who can help me. I've been blacklisted by every doctor in town as being a hypo. Everyone just wants to throw drugs at me. The only relief I get is while I'm asleep and the few seconds after I wake up. I can't even get caught up enough in anything enjoyable to forget. I used to be fine at work or when out with friends, but not anymore. There is no distraction big enough to keep my mind off these heart attack symptoms. They grow more painful and convincing by the day. Shooting pains from my jaw down my arm. A deep ache in my jaw and arms. Dizziness and confusion. An impending sense of doom. Pains in my chest and shoulders. Sweating.

I fight every day just to stay out of the ER. I wish I could just give up and let it win. I envy anyone able to go about their life without a constant fear of death. I even try to accept death and believe that either it will be the end and I'll no longer feel or fear anything or my soul will live on in some form and I'll be reunited with my love ones, really a win win either way, but I still fear it. I don't know how much longer I can possibly live like this. I've ruined so many days that I can never get back.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: One way or another this is going to kill me.
« Reply #1 on: December 26, 2013, 06:11:07 AM »
OK. Deep breath. Ask yourself one question. How long have you thought this way? Probably years. You are still alive. You haven't had a heart attack yet. I don't think you are going to have one either. Way up the options here. We can go on worrying. Think heart attack daily until the day we do die. Which will probably be of old age. Then you look back and think about how much time you wasted thinking about heart attacks. The fact that you have thought this way for some time now and nothing bad, other than thoughts, has ever happened to you, should show you what the mind can do. You have to learn from this. Learn what the mind is doing on you. Not just sit there and accept it as fact. Push yourself even to the brink. I bet you don't have a heart attack. No matter how hard your heart is beating. Just learn how to slow that heart down again. Brings things back under control. Live your life. Pointless sitting there worrying over something that is not going to happen.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: One way or another this is going to kill me.
« Reply #2 on: December 26, 2013, 08:18:51 AM »
Am quite preoccupied with death myself, but am old. Going out with a heart attack wouldn't be bad at all. Problem is it's not so easy to get out. Members of my family suffered horribly. I intend to get rewarded with a quick way out.

What you are really afraid of (my guess) is living your life. This is probably a root cause of many a health or anxiety issue. A key is to find interests and joy in your life. School? Work? Sports? Hobbies? Doing for others? Any ideas?
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Offline Overthinking extrovert

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Re: One way or another this is going to kill me.
« Reply #3 on: December 26, 2013, 08:29:05 AM »
Your anxiety feels worse because you let it. You know you have it and you let it happen. Mind is a powerful thing, use it. Convince yourself that you're fine. You have read correctly that a bad feeling negatively affects your body. But you have obviously missed the part which says that positive feelings positively affect your body! Think positive, excercise, eat well (not necessarily healthy, because food should make you feel good and there is evidence that eating junk food doesn't mean you're going to die of cardiovascular diseases)... You don't want to live your life with anxiety. And so what if you eventually have a heart attack? It's not like that's 100% fatal these days, and even if it were, you still want to use the remaining life as much as you can.
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It is by my will alone I set my mind in motion

Offline marc

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Re: One way or another this is going to kill me.
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2013, 08:31:18 AM »
We all have fears that we live with everyday. Sometimes it is difficult to deal with daily issues. I really wish that there
was an answer I could give you, but many times you have to work out issues with yourself. Maybe therapy and or medication may
be the way to go.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline 2sungo

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Re: One way or another this is going to kill me.
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2013, 01:11:45 PM »
I can relate in the sense that news stories about anxiety or depression always seem to come up with something to scare the anxious/depressed person with HA even more.  I also can relate to the fear of death, I have thought about it just like you, but logically coming up with two somewhat comforting scenarios still doesn't seem to reach the emotional part of the brain.  Past experience tells me that meds/therapy/time or some combination thereof should make it all go away, because it has done so before for me, though it seems to be taking more time to get better this time around.  I guess the only thing to do is to keep in mind the logical thoughts that all the stuff going on is the anxiety talking, not your heart (after you have already been checked out and given the okay) and to accept weird symptoms can happen all because of anxiety.  Meanwhile you can do whatever it takes to overcome it in terms of meds/therapy, eventually something will work, and then time is good as you get past it and the fears recede.  I remember the first time I had a panic attack and anxiety/depression I had all kinds of weird palps, chest pains, and stuff going on, and I am still here 25 years later.  I don't have too much of that particular stuff going on right now (thankfully), just other stuff, it seems anxiety can morph in new directions when it returns, so for me now its more stomach, tingly arms, stronger depression, and fatigue (well the latter was actually always a problem with this stuff) rather than heart stuff for this round.  You will get past this eventually, and your heart is not going to give out.  Also any of those "studies" that come out with bad news for us should be viewed with skepticism at best, they often are poorly designed and find weak correlations that may not really reflect cause and effect situations anyway. I think the sensationalist news just likes to print them to scare people, it gets ridiculous after a while.
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