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Author Topic: Why did I do this? Fear of serious mental illness.  (Read 288 times)

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Offline bmr86

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Why did I do this? Fear of serious mental illness.
« on: December 22, 2013, 04:43:45 PM »
I've had horrible anxiety before, last summer I even spent two days in the hospital for it. I made a very good recovery, I was on effexor and buspar for a while, and was even able to come off of my meds for almost a year. I've always been an anxious person.

Last Monday I decided to go to the doc, because of stress I was getting very anxious again. I wanted to get treatment before I got really bad. I am on Celexa 10mg. It seemed fine, I was perfectly fine Thursday evening (my 4th day on the medicine). Thursday night I was on my computer, in bed, and heard the sound of sirens. I live in a very rural area so I am sure there were no sirens. This has put me back in full fledged panic mode, that I am going to get schizophrenia. This was also a huge fear I dealt with last time. I've been doing much better the past two days, but now I have the sound of sirens stuck in my head. However, when I concentrate on something else, it goes away. I know that I am thinking so hard about it, I hear them. Nothing else has happened. I don't hear voices, I don't see things...just this sound of sirens.

I should not have done this but, I looked up schizophrenia and something called the "prodromal" phase. Now I am terrified because I had such bad anxiety that I can slip into psychosis! The noises don't help me, just really upset. I am terrified my illness is the beginning phase of schizo, because it was a little more than a year ago when I had my first anxiety, and I've had a pretty stressful life.
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Offline Lunatone

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Re: Why did I do this? Fear of serious mental illness.
« Reply #1 on: December 23, 2013, 04:26:52 AM »
Fortunately, your symptoms are not those of schizophrenia (it wouldnt get better with distraction if it was.) and you have all the symptoms of anxiety induced auditory hallucinations. They are surprisingly common. You eventually just start tuning it out.

Oh, and I have a tip for googling. do a google search for "anxiety hallucinations" (without quotes) and see what comes up. Any time yu want to search for a condition that you're afraid of, put the word anxiety or panic before it. Almost invariably there will be a huge number of people asking the same thing, and being told yes, that can happen with anxiety.
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Offline tinam7

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Re: Why did I do this? Fear of serious mental illness.
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2013, 09:25:27 AM »
We can be our own worst enemy, but can also help ourselves. Maybe your medication needs adjustment or you need to speak to a therapist.

Stress has yet to be identified for the damage it can cause. For that reason I turn to yoga, tai chi, meditation. Go to classes and practice it at home. It is my belief (and experience) that if you can find ways to de-stress, the other symptoms will fade away. Wishing you all the best, we are here to try and support you.
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Offline bmr86

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Re: Why did I do this? Fear of serious mental illness.
« Reply #3 on: December 23, 2013, 11:25:43 AM »
Thanks for the kind replies. I feel like I'm going through an adjustment phase with my meds. I know it's all horrible anxiety, but it's so hard to get out of, I am also disappointed I had a relapse. I know I don't need to be, but this illness tells you differently. I love the support here, you guys have NO idea how much this website has helped me, so please if you have any words of encouragement, I'd be happy to here.
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