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Author Topic: Have you had it your entire life?  (Read 443 times)

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Offline Lily120

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Have you had it your entire life?
« on: December 18, 2013, 09:27:47 PM »
I was often anxious and depressed as a child, going back to my earliest memories around toddler age, and it took me a long time to realize that my experience was not typical, and to fight for a different kind of life I've haven't yet known.

Is there anyone else like this who has had GAD for as long as they can remember, basically your entire life so far?

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Offline geo_eccentric

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2013, 09:46:01 PM »
Not my entire life, but on and off since age 10.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2013, 09:54:39 PM »
Everyone is different; my anxiety really picked up steam these last 7 years or so. I guess I had it before then though, I just used to handle it a lot better.
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Offline pearlsdream

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #3 on: December 19, 2013, 12:26:40 AM »
I have had mine my whole life. I don't look back on my child hood memories and feel nostalgic. I just remember feeling scared and closed in by the world and my parents and other authority figures.
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Offline SummerSun41

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2013, 01:19:43 AM »
Just to spice things up: I only contracted anxiety disorder after a "traumatic" fainting episode and my first anxiety attack a week later. I had no idea that it was an anxiety attack because the whole idea of anxiety was completely foreign to me. Of course I had heard about it but until then it wasn't even on my radar. I was never anxious as a child or teen (I'm 23), and never thought I would be. That was about nine months ago and I can gladly say my anxiety is pretty mild and I think I will "outgrow" it or at least find my own personal cure. I hope those of you who think you're "in it for life" can find hope and relief from whatever you're struggling with. Remember that anything is possible!
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Offline LivingLife

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #5 on: December 19, 2013, 08:04:07 AM »
I feel like I'm the odd ball in this, I had a specific day and time where my life took a complete 180, it was dec 12th 2012, I went to the hospital after studying for a final exam till 5am and I thought I was having a heart attack, turned out to be a huge panic attack, ever since that day I've been dealing with all these psychological issues. Before that though I never thought twice about having anxiety or psychological issues I was very "normal." I was actually one of those ignorant assholes who thought mental illness was just something that was in someones head and that you can snap out of it but that they were just being stupid. Woww was I wrong, I have a million times more sympathy for any one I hear that is going through depression, ocd, gad, panic disorder etc now.
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Online Lunatone

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #6 on: December 19, 2013, 03:25:57 PM »
Ive had anxiety issues for as long as i can remember.
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Offline Fuzyyy

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2013, 06:45:44 PM »
Similar to livinglife, I can also remember when my anxiety started: 10th December 2012. I could go and show you the spot and walk you through what happened and everything.

I often think about my first weeks of anxiety. Somehow I kind of miss them.
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Offline 2sungo

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2013, 08:34:18 PM »
Not in pathological form, that happened when I had my first panic attack the day after I turned 31.  I've had two more episodes since, one when I was 44 (I got over that one quicker than the first one) and another last January (55) after a stressful summer/fall.  I've used meds to control it and have had great anxiety/depression free years inbetween.  This one is taking longer to fully resolve, but I will get there and I am able to work and function with the help of clonazepam and Lexapro (though the latter is not working as well as it used to, or maybe I just need lots of time to heal from the stresses that preceeded and even worse stresses that followed the third attack).  Oddly the first two attacks began with panic attacks, the third began with waves of anxiety like adrenalin rushes from my midsection, only later on while ramping back up the Lexapro did I suffer one odd panic attack.  Depression seems more of a feature this time, but I have good days and pray it keeps getting better so I can go back to my relatively optimistic and relaxed self.  I also believe it is genetic, and stress must play a part in making it worse, but not right away, seems to hit when not expected.  An odd thing is that ever since the second attack, when I got back onto Zoloft for the second time (which was rougher but it did work) I got tinnitus, which has never left me, just fluctuates in how loud it is (gets worse when I am not feeling well). 
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Offline Lily120

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2013, 10:30:27 PM »
Thanks for sharing! It's interesting how some people have had it most of their lives, while others experience it out of the blue or caused by a triggering event.

In both cases, I'm really curious about what causes anxiety to persist. What causes a toddler to be chronically anxious? Where does it come from? What makes anxiety show up in someone suddenly and then become a continual struggle for them? I don't understand the cause, but I really want to.
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Online cutecat25

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2013, 11:24:31 PM »
When I look back I was always an anxious child, but it got to the point of an anxiety disorder when I turned 12.
Then in March 2012 I collapsed from a dizzy spell and since then my anxiety has become even more severe...
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Offline Nisitiv

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #11 on: December 20, 2013, 06:22:03 AM »
Yes. I used to have mental breakdowns and freakouts as a kid. My mom just wrote it off as me being an irrational, fearful child, but I knew there was something wrong with when I was about 11. I had these uncontrollable thoughts about all the ways I was going to die. Bombs, people breaking in, heart attack, etc etc. As I got older, it got worse and worse, and whenever I was in a high anxiety situation, I'd get dizzy and faint. My doctor said it was low blood pressure, but it wasn't until I got a therapist this year (I am 18) that I discovered that everything, my freakouts, my panic attacks, my sugar cravings, my hyopochondriac reactions, my dizziness and fainting, it was all related to GAD. I just thought I was crazy, my entire life I thought I was just insane and that there was no hope.

Though knowing that I have GAD doesn't make the situation any better. at least knowing that I have a sickness and not that I am batshit crazy really is helpful. It also allows me to learn what my triggers are.
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Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #12 on: December 20, 2013, 07:59:23 AM »
No I haven't, but the groundwork was laid in my childhood I'm sure. My father's an alcoholic, albeit a highly functioning one. But I'm sure family dynamics played a role in my outlook on life. I was a shy kid. I had a mild episode of anxiety for a few months in college, then after that I was something of a "worrier" though nothing clinically significant. For my I think the traits were there then things periodically ramped up over a course of years then even more so over months, to where they are now.
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Offline Quetzal828

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #13 on: December 20, 2013, 12:20:45 PM »
I only learned that I have GAD and OCD about a year ago, when in my late 20's. But I also learned I've had both my entire life. This realization helped me make sense of a lot of things in my childhood -- panic attacks, compulsive rituals, distorted thought patterns, etc. At first, it was also incredibly freeing knowing life doesn't have to be this way. A year later, though, still in the midst of treatment and making very slow progress, I'm learning that anxiety truly permeates all aspects of my life. Freeing myself from it is like rebuilding a whole new person from the ground up.
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Offline MR PA

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Re: Have you had it your entire life?
« Reply #14 on: December 31, 2013, 02:52:05 AM »
yeah dizziness keeps me from doing anything
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