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Author Topic: Does anyone tell their partners?  (Read 1051 times)

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Offline nancyga13

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Does anyone tell their partners?
« on: December 18, 2013, 06:48:36 PM »
So its been quite a few years since I have experienced the OCD intrusive thought thing!! I had it before I met my fiancÚ which was seven years ago!! I told him about one of my thoughts he did not react like I was crazy or anything but i'm afraid to tell him all of my intrusive thoughts because he tries to understand my anxiety but I don't think he knows anything about intrusive thoughts and the ones I get. I am afraid he will wanna admit me somewhere if I tell him things I think sometimes.
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Offline Abraham2007

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #1 on: December 19, 2013, 12:13:45 AM »
Tell your partner romantic things and how much fun he is to be around.  Compliment him regularly about how good he makes you feel and how lucky you are to have him as a partner.

Tell your obsessive, intrusive and neurotic thoughts to your psychiatrist, so he can prescribe the appropriate psychotropic medication that will allow your brain to control them.

Your partner is not your psychiatrist, he is your partner.  And your psychiatrist is not your partner, he is your psychiatrist. 
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Offline stephtronic

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #2 on: December 23, 2013, 03:56:29 PM »
I tell both my psychiatrist and my fiancee about my intrusive thoughts. It helps me to talk about it, and my fiancee helps me to reason through them and get them out of my brain between appointments. I've found it's really helpful for me to talk to him about the intrusive thoughts that I get. He understands the disorder and understands me and has chosen to love me unconditionally despite it. So I'm open with him. It helps him to know what I'm going through because since we're together, he's along for the ride.  :yes:

Edit: *But*, if you're worried about how he'll react, I wouldn't push yourself to talk to him about it. You don't have to and are in no way obligated to. You know your psychiatrist will understand, but not necessarily him. It's a hard disorder to really *get* unless you're going through it or very well educated on it.
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Offline Evangeline

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2013, 09:39:56 PM »
I tell my partner everything because he wants me to. He goes to my appts with me, He supports me and wishes to play a part in my recovery. He also can tell when there's something wrong so I can't really hide it all that well.

Not every relationship is like mine. If you fear how he is going to react, Then I'd probably take to writing or something rather then sharing. If he asks, Be honest. As long as he knows the situation, he is kind of along for the roller coaster

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Offline Cilantro

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2014, 12:33:20 AM »
I think gradual exposure to mental health issues and how they work is a good idea. It's very startling to someone who doesn't know anything about them to be met with a list of all the bizarre and painful things others go through that might be invisible to the outside world, but people in love will want to understand. People in general just aren't very good at understanding how others think, so it takes time.

My boyfriend has OCPD, so I don't have any concerns this time around.
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Offline Powerslave1724

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2014, 07:57:48 PM »
It ultimately depends on the relationship you have with your partner. My wife has been with me since freshman year of high school. We are both 30 now. She knows all about it and I tell her all of my issues (sometimes to the point of driving her insane  :laugh3:). She knows how hard it is to live with. I'm lucky enough where she understands and is there for me for that reassurance I need with my OCD. It's all about trust. We trust each other without question and tell each other everything. Having an open relationship like that has not only helped me deal with my OCD, but has made our relationship stronger as well.



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Offline anxiousAlways

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2014, 06:29:48 PM »
I try to communicate as much as possible with partner so that he can understand why I do what I do. I think that it helps a ton. He can tell when I start spiraling into anxiety and can tell me that I have passed into the scary zone. Now that he realizes what is going on he empowered and not helpless and he knows I'm doing things because I am anxious about something.
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Offline maginno

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2014, 09:42:31 AM »
My spouse knows about my issues, but doesn't know the content, nor does she ask.  She knows they are violent and disturbing, but she trusts and knows that they are things I cannot control right now and I try not to let her see me fight them.  She knows I don't want to act on them and I know if I ever started feeling these were ok thoughts then I would call my doctor immediately.  We leave it at that.  IF she wanted to know she would ask and I'm not going to force her to hear them.
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Offline sarahbrittany

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #8 on: January 09, 2015, 12:02:35 PM »
Not sure if you are still suffering at this time. Yes I've told my husband about my harm OCD I've had about him. At first I was really embarrassed, and could hardly tell him, but when I did he didn't seem phased at all. He even told me he had once had similar thoughts about me, freaked him out, but he shrugged it off and moved on (oh how nice that would be!).

My husband is my rock, and the reason I keep holding on when the anxiety/OCD takes me down. It is great to have his comfort and support in times of need. 
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #9 on: January 09, 2015, 01:12:19 PM »
I am married to a good woman.  But, she does not handle stress well.  When I am anxious and she can see it...she grows worried.  I try to keep it real simple with her when she asks.  Yes, I'm anxious today but it's just me being me...something to that effect.  Based on our history, she is not equipped to deal with my crazy thoughts.  I believe each relationship and partner are different.  You must be the judge as I don't think there is a right or wrong answer.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline amh350

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2015, 05:29:34 PM »
Not sure if you are still suffering at this time. Yes I've told my husband about my harm OCD I've had about him. At first I was really embarrassed, and could hardly tell him, but when I did he didn't seem phased at all. He even told me he had once had similar thoughts about me, freaked him out, but he shrugged it off and moved on (oh how nice that would be!).

My husband is my rock, and the reason I keep holding on when the anxiety/OCD takes me down. It is great to have his comfort and support in times of need.

My husband's the same. Hes had alot of thoughts that would drive me crazy for days but doesnt put a pass on them.
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Offline Beth0810

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2015, 05:44:50 PM »
Oh my gosh, YES, tell him.  Not telling him is like not telling him you have diabetes or asthma or chronic pain.  It's a health condition and by not telling him you are perpetuating the stigma.  It's like not showing him a whole side of yourself.  Please tell him so he can support you and understand what you are feeling.  It's so important. 

Maybe bring him to therapy?  Ask your therapist to help him understand? 

There's nothing wrong with you. This is just how your brain (an organ) works.  You have an over active Caudate Nucleus.  It's biological.  No big deal.
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"We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking."  -Richard Rohr

Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Does anyone tell their partners?
« Reply #12 on: January 12, 2015, 04:12:34 PM »
Yup, my husband was in the whole eye of the hurricane with me last year when my anxiety and depressive symptoms were at their worst. I didn't tell him about my self-harm thoughts at first, but finally did at the recommendation of my psychiatrist. I don't tell him every time I wanted to hurt myself, more that the general thoughts were there, and when they improved. He's been to one of my psychiatry appointments, and he has "talked me down" when I've felt really bad.

He didn't entirely "get" the idea of chronic anxiety at first, but he was there learning when it was needed.
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