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Author Topic: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through  (Read 385 times)

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Offline burgundyplace

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A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« on: December 18, 2013, 03:45:28 AM »
I know some of you may already know that my current fear is my weight loss. Basically, I tried jogging and cutting back on extra food back in September and had a bit of an irregular diet due to a stomach bug that lasted almost a month (until early November). The exercise and diet only lasted for 2 weeks.

I do not normally monitor my weight, but this thing got me worried because a lot of people keep telling me that I am losing weight.

Basically, ever since the weight loss comments have been pouring in, here are some of the things that are keeping me down:

1. I get anxious whenever I look at photos of myself that were taken earlier this year because they make me say that "Oh my god, did I really lose weight?"

2. The Christmas season and people are calling me to have some parties. I have already turned down 5 invitations because I fear that people whom I haven't met for a little while will say "Oh my gosh, you lost weight! Congratulations!".

3. I can't help but look at myself in reflections/mirrors wherever I am. I sometimes even turn on my camera phone to look at myself and say "God, I look thinner!"

4. There are times when I just walk around and ACTUALLY feel like I am just skin and bones. I feel like my face is just a skull and my flesh is LITERALLY nibbling away due to weight loss.

5. I get anxious often now because I always anticipate people to tell me that I lost weight.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. This morning a colleague of mine told me that I wasn't chubby anymore!

I am actually overweight and I know I could lose extra pounds, but I feel like this is just too much.

Last October 15, I weighted at 189 lbs and last week I was down to 182.5. Just  few days ago, I was 183. My height is 5'9.

PEOPLE JUST WON'T STOP WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS COMMENTS!!! :(

I feel seriously okay in the physical sense and my clothes seem to still fit fine (I guess?).

I cannot anymore take another comment without going to the ER. :(
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Offline Lunatone

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2013, 04:29:49 AM »
You could try treating it like a phrase thats utterly casual, the kind of thing like "hey." or "hows it going?"

You know, brush it off with a "Yeah, thanks." Not hostile, but uninterested. Really, for the time being, its just become a small-talk replacement for the phrases I wrote above. Something new to talk about, since people hate small talk and think they sound stupid when repeating themselves too much.
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Offline burgundyplace

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2013, 04:44:42 AM »
Thanks, Lunatone.

I try to treat it as that but even my colleagues whom I've been with for quite some time keep telling me this. :( In my 4 years of working here, they have never commented on my weight loss until now. I am 24 years old by the way...

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Offline Brody108

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2013, 05:02:11 AM »
I was in the same situation last year. I lost almost 10lbs once I became anxious. I was thinking that I did lose, but when my aunt said "You lost some weight! Why?!" I became a wreck. I'm became obsessive w/ my weight and I still am some. I gained back 3 of the pounds and have been the same weight for almost a year. The good thing is that I'm my ideal weight for 5'9.

What's so funny about my weight loss meltdown is that I had been wanting to lose 5lbs because I was getting chubby. When I finally lost the weight I freaked out lol!
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Offline burgundyplace

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #4 on: December 18, 2013, 09:21:40 AM »
Thanks, Brody.

I absolutely feel the same way. Before, I would wish that I would just be thin for no reason at all so I could look and feel better.

Now that I am actually losing weight, I am freaking out.

May I know how much time did it take for you to lose than 10 lbs? It's good that your doctors were not concerned. It seems that you are still fine right now.
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Offline DaphneNL

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #5 on: December 18, 2013, 09:49:53 AM »
Stomach bug + anxiety = great recipe for weight loss. ;)
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Online vardnas

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #6 on: December 18, 2013, 12:28:48 PM »
Burgundy, can I ask you why you're so afraid of these comments? As DaphneNL said, stomach problems plus anxiety plus cutting back on food is GOING to lead to weight loss. You don't mention it in your post, but why does it freak you out so much that people comment on it? Do you think it means you're sick with something? You just laid out three very logical reasons for your weight loss. I guess I'm just confused about why you're so concerned.
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In case anyone is still confused:  googling your symptoms will cause you to remain in a state of extreme anxiety. Stepping away from the internet is the first step toward lasting peace.

Offline burgundyplace

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2013, 08:01:08 PM »
Hi Daphne and vardnas, thank you for your thoughts.

Vardnas, you've been such an angel to me as you've always been there to take the time and reply to my worries. Basically, I am scared because, yes, I feel that the weight loss thing is a sign that I have something bad especially you know what.

Truth be told, this wouldn't have been an issue if people did not even comment on the weight loss thing as I do not regularly check my weight. I started the weight monitoring when a group of friends commented on how I look "thinner and healthier". :(

Yes, I know I did the cut back on food and some exercise (it was only for 2-3 weeks I guess?), plus I got sick of irregular bowel movements for almost a month, but during that time I still feel that I was able to eat enough. I fear that even though the SHORT time I spent for exercise and reduction of food were really not enough to make me lose weight to the point that a lot of people would notice. I guess that's what scares me the most.

Am I really just being irrational?
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Online vardnas

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #8 on: December 20, 2013, 01:06:15 PM »
Am I really just being irrational?

Do you really want to know the answer to that?? :P

I don't think you're necessarily being "irrational," but it sounds like you're definitely overanalyzing things. The trouble comes when we start to read too deep into what others say. Most people take "you look like you lost weight" as a compliment, yet we anxious types immediately wonder if we've got some sort of disease.

If you don't closely monitor your weight, DON'T START. Monitoring only leads to greater anxiety. Plus, if you were suffering from cancer or any other life-threatening illness, don't you think you'd actually feel sick or be exhibiting other symptoms? Of course you would.

When I had really bad anxiety, I initially lost almost ten pounds in a week and a half. Overall I lost about 25 pounds. I felt like EVERY time I stepped on the scale my weight went down. I could stand to lose a few, but do you think I was happy each time the number was lower? No! I freaked! It didn't help that a friend of mine who was in med school at the time told me I'd lost too much weight and was concerned. But just because he said something and was concerned, it didn't mean anything was "wrong," he just didn't understand the context for my weight loss. Does that make sense?

Anxiety can cause weight loss in and of itself. Our metabolisms start going like gangbusters, we eat less, and pounds just melt off. Plus you've been exercising (even a little) and you had some stomach problems—again, ALL likely culprits for what's going on.

I'm sure I've asked you before, but are you doing anything right now to try and get your anxiety down to manageable levels?
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In case anyone is still confused:  googling your symptoms will cause you to remain in a state of extreme anxiety. Stepping away from the internet is the first step toward lasting peace.

Offline Natsab87

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #9 on: December 20, 2013, 01:21:50 PM »
You need to look at it in a positive way. Initially you wanted to lose weight and you did so well done.. Then you had a bug which is horrible but again a good cause for weight loss. Now you're concerned about how easy it was that you're concerned it must be wrong.. Hence the worrying and the continuing loss or maintenance. People comment in a positive way and because usually it's a compliment.

If you hadn't tried, hadn't been Ill and weren't anxious I'd be concerned but for now be proud!

I've lost 7lbs in two weeks and I am eating normally! The anxiety is eating away at me!
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Offline Air Nomad

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2013, 04:05:05 PM »
I think you're definitely just reading into what people are saying.  I doubt they have any idea how much they're upsetting you - they're just trying to pay you a compliment!  Honestly running and eating better even for 2-3 weeks can definitely cause you to lose weight, even a significant amount.  You said you don't normally monitor your weight but when people started saying things, then you did. 

I was in the EXACT same situation a couple months ago.  I had a baby a year ago and a lot of the baby weight didn't start coming off until a couple months ago.  I really wasn't paying attention because I was so busy with my little guy.  People started commenting, "You're looking great!"  "Wow, you're losing weight!"  And I was like, "Really?"  I hadn't been trying at all so then I started worrying something must be wrong with me.  Suddenly I noticed how thin (in a good way) I looked compared to before, but instead of thinking "Yay, finally back to my pre-pregnancy self!" I was thinking "I must be dying!"  But when I thought about it rationally, around that same time I'd been eating really healthy and been much more active just due to going out and about and my little guy crawling.  There were obvious reasons that I'd lost weight but because I wasn't monitoring it, it sneaked up on me and I freaked out when people started commenting.  Believe me, I'm sure you're fine.  Take it as a compliment, and an achievement that you lost some weight you wanted to lose.
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Sokka: "Do you want me to be like you or be totally honest?"
Katara: "Are you saying I'm a liar?"
Sokka: "No, I'm saying you're an optimist. Same thing really."
-Avatar: the Last Airbender
(This is me and my husband to a tee)

Offline burgundyplace

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2013, 09:11:06 AM »
Vardnas, you have perfectly describe how I feel. I do feel skinnier with every step that I take and with every opportunity that I get to see my reflection, I keep freaking out about my weight. It seems that you've had very serious experiences with what I am dealing with right now.

Yes, I do overanalyze things just like the weight loss comments. I do know that my friends do not mean any harm, but my HA is just going bananas whenever they happen to "praise" me. I guess you are right when you said that I'd be really sick if I had anything sinister. I guess I have to keep that in mind! No, as of the moment, I do not have any professional help to make me deal with HA. I only have this forum to keep me sane at times so it really is a big deal for me when you guys respond to my woes. I'll try to find some professional help around here.

Natsa, I am doing my best to look at this the positive way. I am currently in my hometown for the holidays where I haven't met some friends in a little while. I still am a bit anxious about anticipating the weight loss comments. Sigh. Wow, how were you able to lose those 7 lbs unintentionally? Could you elaborate your story a bit more? :)

Air Nomad (I love your name, I'm a fan of Avatar), that's true -- I know they do not mean any harm. It is still just a bit difficult to accept that the little effort that I did could make people notice the weight loss. It's a bit reassuring that we have similar stories to tell. I can just imagine what you went through. I wish I could just deal with this earlier before the year ends.

By the way, in the last 3 months, I had stool exams and blood sugar test which came out fine (when I was dealing with diabetes scare and my stomach bug). Haven't had other tests yet, but I hope I can keep my mind in place.
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Offline burgundyplace

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Re: A list of how HA is bringing me down. Please help me get through
« Reply #12 on: December 24, 2013, 08:40:40 AM »
So sorry to bump this again.

We're celebrating Christmas eve as I type this and while it is a festive mood all around, lots and lots of pictures are being taken.

I keep looking at the photos and keep staring at myself and think that I do look skinny. :s

Is this is just my anxiety playing with my mind?
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