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Author Topic: Anyone feel agitation with intrusive thoughts?  (Read 425 times)

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Offline Walnut

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Anyone feel agitation with intrusive thoughts?
« on: December 15, 2013, 09:03:10 PM »
I dont know if "agitation" is the correct word for me to use or if I should use irritated. Ive been having intrusive thoughts for a few months now. If I get more than 2 miles from home I experience them. Which makes no sense because if I am going to "lose it" it could happen anywhere so what makes home a safe place? I used to have problems sitting at red lights and I was able to beat it long ago but, now its back but with intrusive thoughts. As soon as I get stuck in a red light I have thoughts f just getting out of my car right there and walking away to get away from the uncomfortable feeling or pushing cars out of my way.
I get thoughts of stripping all my clothes off and taking off running when I am in a public place. I get thoughts of hurting others around me.
Just last night I went with my family out to eat for my sons birthday. I drove by myself sepeate from everyone in case I wanted to leave. Every little irritating noise made me feel pissed off. I kept mapping out my drive home to avoid red lights. Then I worried about being pulled over by the police. I kept using stuff I have learned from reading about intrusive thoughts to make it through the dinner. After maybe 20 minutes I calmed down and I was ok but I still wanted to just be at home where I dont feel the thoughts.
A few months back I was having these thoughts and I was going to a local hardware store. I made myself go despite how I felt. I was very very anxious. The lady who was my cashier was an older woman and she was very slow and I just wanted this to end. I felt this deep aggravation I just wanted to punch her. I started to doubt if I would do it. I would never punch an old lady. So of course the thought sickened me.
I have had anxiety all my life and Ive had an intrusive thought here and there that scared me but I was able to get over it and move on. Now its just consistent and I have been stuck at home for months. My mom has always been my "safe person". She used to have anxiety so she understands me, but now thats has been taken from me. I mean, I dont feel safe or more calm when she is with me. This is by far the hardest bout of anxiety I have ever  been through.
I have to get over this. I missed my last doctors apt cause I cant  get to his office, I have a tooth filling that fell out and its needs to be repaired but I cant make it to a dentist. This is just ridiculous and has robbed me of what little life I did have. 
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I am horrible about forgetting which threads I have replied to. If you dont get a reply back from me feel free to message me.

My screen name used to be "Nutty" Ive been a member since 2008. I forgot what email I used back then so I cant login to my old name.

Offline Leo99

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Re: Anyone feel agitation with intrusive thoughts?
« Reply #1 on: December 17, 2013, 08:55:55 AM »
Walnut, I'm sorry to read you're struggling at the moment. I know how terrible intrusive thoughts can be and I can say 'yes', I experienced irritation with intrusive thoughts but in the 'man, can't just this all end already' kind of way.
My instrusive thoughts never chose place or time so I guess I don't have any worthy input as regards 'safe' and 'unsafe' places. Same with other anxiety issues. Did/ do have safe persons, but no time or space reservations. Except that my intrusive thoughts kinda liked public places too.

Are you in therapy or take meds, if you don't mind me asking? We might've discussed that already so I apologize if I forgot. For my intrusive thought, antidepressants and cbt were the solution.
Take care  :action-smiley-065:!
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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
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Offline Trinity

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Re: Anyone feel agitation with intrusive thoughts?
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2013, 03:04:41 AM »
hey walnut! I have experienced agitation and a pure urge to act out on the thought, i too had the punching one.. i felt a huge wave of uneasiness the little video/image of me doing it, and the urge as if i was half a second away from actually acting out the thought.. terrifying.. i stick my hands in my pockets to feel more in control .. i dont know what else to do.. but definitely had the agitation.. certain noises also agitate me.. i cant stand them so badly that i either snap and yell or have to leave the room... people eating, dog eating, i get a sensation that runs through my own teeth thats like nails on chalk board type of agitation, fork scraping pan or plate.. omg i wince thinking about it! I dont have much advice but i wanted to share so you knew you werent alone. i have heard quite a few with this! I hope this is short lived and you feel better soon (((hugs)))
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Offline nancyga13

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Re: Anyone feel agitation with intrusive thoughts?
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2013, 01:19:57 PM »
Oh yes, I have similar thoughts as you and i'm getting aggravated with my thoughts!!! Which I know the only way to like get over them is to accept them. I been getting a lot lately.
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