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Author Topic: Really need your guys advice  (Read 174 times)

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Offline bbwire

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Really need your guys advice
« on: December 14, 2013, 03:39:08 PM »
Alright so I really need help with this major setback that I've had and I can't get over it! So I've decided to just let it all out on how it happened, first off I've been dealing with anxiety since I had my first anxiety attack last January and ever since then I developed this huge fear of going crazy or having schizophrenia anything like that, I've done so much researched and googled so much I know everything about it and it's like it's imbedded in me I know all of the symptoms so it's like I'm constantly questioning everything. Well over the summer I started to get over the fear with advice from you guys and not letting myself be scared of it and from July till October I didn't have the fear I thought I was almost anxiety freee, but that is when I had the major setback!

It started in October, I was watching this horror movie and I seen a guy kill someone and he didn't care at all about it and then I got the thought "could I do that" and that scared me so much! I dwelled on this for like a week and then I started to question myself like "do I actually think I could hurt someone" and whenever I did that it became so hard to answer it's like I didn't know what I thought?! But I read about violent intrusive thoughts and I got over that fear but I've always had the fear of having psychosis anything like that, but then one night I went to lay down I got a thought "what if someone going through my stuff" that freaked me totally out and then I told myself that's ridiculous and went to bed but when I woke up in the morning it was back again and just like the violent thought I started to question it too I would ask myself "do I actually think someone going through my stuff" and then it would just make me doubt myself so much and it would become so abstract that I didn't know what I thought about it again! So I started to fear that I was having delusions and made me so upset and since I know everything about schizophrenia it's like my imagination creates all these delusional thoughts to test myself to see if I actually believe this crap and of course I always ask myself "do you actually believe it" and it always becomes so hard to answer! Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Can anxiety make you question your beliefs and not know what you think? I've read all these threads about if I was actually delusional I wouldn't know it or like delusional ppl do not question their beliefs but it doesn't help! I'm always questioning myself! So are these just intrusive thoughts is that what they do? I really need your guys advice and reassurance I just need to get through this fear! 
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Offline bbwire

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Re: Really need your guys advice
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2013, 07:52:10 PM »
Anyone? Any advice would be appreciated
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Offline Bill898

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Re: Really need your guys advice
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2013, 08:12:24 PM »
I am going through what you are. But one thing I need to ask you is, is there any history of serve mentall illness such as Schizophrenia in your family or in a parent? In my case there is as my mum and auntie are both bi-polar schizoaffective. If no one in your family is, then the fear of you having schizophrenia and the thoughts you are experiencing and just due to high anxiety and slight OCD fgrabbing onto schixophrenia as it is a scary thing. The chance of you actually ever becoming Schixophrenic if you have no family history of it are basically nil, so hopefully that may ease you slightly. My thoughts follow the exact same pattern of yours but you just need to rrmain ratiomal and dismiss them no matter how disturbing and they will ease and as your anxiety levels lower, so will the intensity of the thoughts.
Best wishes, Bill
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Really need your guys advice
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2013, 08:30:51 PM »
Hi bbwire, I don't think you are having psychotic delusions, I think your having what is called obsessions, which is caused from anxiety. Because if you had schizophrenia you would not even be questioning yourself, and you wouldn't think you were delusional. Don't worry, you're fine :)
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