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Author Topic: Identity OCD??  (Read 303 times)

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Offline ericdrobertson

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Identity OCD??
« on: December 13, 2013, 06:24:12 PM »
Hey, I havent checked in for a while because Ive been doing pretty good until this past week or so. Ive been doing some long distance running which has been helping with my nervous energy and has been making it to where I sleep like a rock through the night.

The reason I am posting is to see if anyone else has struggled with the following and what tips they can offer: I am 19 and for my whole life I have struggled with the question "Who am I?" Like what clothes do I like to wear, what music do I like, what do I want to do as a career? I have asked this constantly since I was young. The issue is the fact that I cant settle any of those questions. For example, I live in the south, country music is a prominent music style. So I listen to it and then everything else that doesnt line up with "country culture" I wont allow myself to do like jogging for instance, "no farmers around here jog, thats a thing for "city folk". Or lets say I hear an old Chili Peppers song on the radio, thoughts pop up in my mind like "I cant listen to that" "thats not what people in the south listen to". Its a constant battle in my head. I go all "scorched earth" culturally. Mind you I did grow up in the south and do enjoy southern things but I am super aware of everything right down to whether I wear boots or tennis shoes. Any thoughts or tips?
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Offline Leo99

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Re: Identity OCD??
« Reply #1 on: December 15, 2013, 07:27:50 AM »
Though I have no much personal experience as regards your struggles, I think you raise an interesting topic. My first thought/ question would be: do you think that is more anxiety related or 'just' a phase all teenagers/young adults go through? Sometimes with lower self esteem we tend to try to fit in and are afraid of being different, perhaps even afraid to search within ourselves. Scared of what might be there. Would love to read your further thoughts on that.

I am glad running helps you. And good sleep is priceless. Take care!
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From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
(E. A. Poe)

Offline ericdrobertson

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Re: Identity OCD??
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2013, 01:19:54 PM »
It is quite possible that this is simply a phase, in fact I pray that it is. It seems to me that since I am predisposed to anxiety through genetics, (my mother), I tend to take things a lot harsher than others. None of my friends have gone though anything similar. I also believe that I am highly inquisitive and over think things 95% of the time which contributes a lot to my anxiety. I mean, who really cares whether it not they wear Wellington boots or converse sneakers and that be the determining decision in my hunt for identity and purpose. Christianity was once and hopefully will be my foundation for identity, being found in Christ, but my inquisitive nature has even ruined that.
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Tags: OCD Identity anxiety GAD crazy 
 

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