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Author Topic: Please tell me im not psychotic  (Read 375 times)

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Offline nancyga13

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Please tell me im not psychotic
« on: December 13, 2013, 06:06:09 PM »
I have always had some type of OCD, im 26 developed GAD when I was seven, usually my obsessions have always been some part of my health or just weird things. Okay well for about two months now I have dealt with the whole adrenaline fear adrenaline cycle...my nerves are sensitive my mind is sensitive!!! Well I been on my 20mg of paxil almost a month now!!! I can tell I have made strives in my progress but i'm still not where I want to be. So heres the deal I been getting thoughts about harming others and its mainly when im alone at home, and I even think about just choking or doing something to my dog!!! Like I will actually ask myself, am I capable of this? Would I feel any remorse of doing this? And I love my dog dearly!! Okay and then I just random intrusive thoughts sometimes about my family, the ones that are at home with me. I will think thoughts like will I just snap and kill my child? I even see images and they are not pleasant. But then again in my mind sometimes I can't seem to be completely rational about it. Like why would I not have remorse about these things, the people I love!!! I have not seen a therapist yet but have been therapy before..im waiting on a opening which probably won't be till January. So can someone tell me how to deal with this? Or do I really need to check myself in a psych ward like now??
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Offline Leo99

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Re: Please tell me im not psychotic
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2013, 08:15:39 AM »
These thoughts, as painful as they might be, are only intrusive thoughts. Quite common actually. These thoughts usually manifest our deepest fears. I had the same type of violent thoughts and I was really afraid of them. I tried blocking them, failed. Tried to replace them with positive thoughts, failed. What I've learned in cbt is that the best way to deal with these thoughts is to let them be, let them buzz at the back of your brain. Do not analyze them and try not to fear them. That only feeds them.
I'm on paxil 20 mg too. The first time around I had 30 mg. Sometimes people with ocd need bigger doses.

I would suggest you use the 'search' option and find similar topics. There are many on here. If you feel really bad tell the doc who prescribes your meds. I told my psychiatrist about these thoughts and she said something in the line of: 'We all have thoughts like that. People with no ocd tendencies just don't get stuck on them. Can you imagine what would happen if we tried analyzing the thousands of thoughts we have each day?' In my opinion intrusive thoughts persist because we fear them, therewith fearing to lose control.

Hope you feel better soon!
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From childhood's hour I have not been
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Offline eduk8or

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Re: Please tell me im not psychotic
« Reply #2 on: December 14, 2013, 09:28:22 AM »
 Ditto what Leo said, plus there are also some great books on OCD that can help you feel like what you are experiencing is "normal" for people with OCD.  One book that helped me a lot was the OCD workbook.  I got it from amazon.  I also take 100mg of Luvox which has helped me accept the thoughts better.
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Offline nancyga13

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Re: Please tell me im not psychotic
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2013, 10:31:28 PM »
Thank you both for your comments I appreciate the responses yes I believe its just bad intrusive thoughts/OCD!!! Hopefully in time I will get them under control.
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Offline bbwire

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Re: Please tell me im not psychotic
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2013, 11:00:27 PM »
I know exactly where you are coming from you sound just like me check out my most recent post in the GAD section http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,80048.0.html let me know what you think

I've had thoughts just like you described before and I just accepted them and got over them but now I'm on a whole new worry, but I guess these thoughts are all just intrusive thoughts that make you question yourself so much! I've heard that anxiety turns down the rationalizing part of the brain and that's why your thought becomes so abstract but trust me I know how scary it is. The fact that the thoughts you are having scare you and worry you means that your really not possible of any of that and aren't psychotic because people like that find nothing wrong with thinking those kinds of things they like them kind of thoughts. I hope that gave you some better insight read a little about intrusive thoughts that should help. If you could give me any advice on my post that would be appreciated 
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