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Author Topic: Anxiety due to Sexual Orientation  (Read 251 times)

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Offline Eddylow9

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Anxiety due to Sexual Orientation
« on: December 12, 2013, 11:26:32 PM »
Hey everybody I'm new to this but I just wanted to share my experiences with Anxiety and OCD thoughts that I have been having. I'm 19 years old male I have always had my orientation as straight as far as I'm concerned when I was developing I have always preferred girls never have one thought about being with a male crossed my mind and so the story goes like this. About 3 weeks ago I was having sex and I was really aroused by the girl we have been planning to have sex for months now and so first time we had sex i got really nervous and I kept telling her about birth control and plan b I wouldn't stop blabbing about it so she said not to worry and so I still had doubts and they next morning we had sex and well my erection went soft after intercourse for 10-12 minutes no stopping and what I can say is I was not focus at all it seems like I lost my train of thought thinking if I was doing a good job or not so I guess in a way I was thinking about her orgasm and not mine thus I concurred that it was the culprit for my soft erection I was over thinking and so the following Monday we had sex again except my erection would go soft when I put on the condom I was hard went I went in and then it would go soft. So it wasn't that pleasant I felt embarrassed and so after she left my mind started to wonder what could it have been that made my erection soft I later started obssesing over it and constantly looking for answers left and right I looked up Erectile dysfunction and so I braced for the worst already planing to make a subscription to Viagra I immediately made an appointment with my doctor and I told him that my erection dropped maybe I might have overreacted and mis informed him I didn't give him all of the details but he measured my blood glucose levels and they turn out to to be fine so then I started thinking what could it be.... So much so that I started questioning my sexuality I kept thinking that I might be gay I might be gay I kept reassuring myself and I spoke to others about it I even spoke to my gay friend and he reassured me that it doesn't happen like that you just don't decide to wake up gay one day you are born with it he explained to about the Kinsey scale and what not and for a bit I felt relieved so I went to my therapist and she kind of gave me more anxiety talking about homosexuality and bi sexuality and "Exploring my sexuality" that only gave me a sharp stomach ache I felt my bowels moving my stomach grumbling I wasn't feeling good all those terms scared me I mean I'm in no way shape or form saying homosexuality is bad I have a couple of gay friends myself and I am very accepting of them but I can in no way shape or form be Homo/bi- sexual for the past 19 years I've had Hetero sexual relationships and I've never had desires to be or experiment with anything of course sexuality isn't black and white but this sounds ridiculous you just can't wake up one day bi-curious or Bi sexual homo sexual I honestly pin it all on the fact that I had an incident where my erection went soft that hurt my self esteem I guess and so I guess I been having anxiety I been having these stomach pains lots of bowel moments been wanting to urinate constantly I keep thinking what if and it's insane it's really irking me just thinking about it. These intrusive thoughts and I never ever had a sexual experience with the same sex it's really taking a toll on me I really wanna go back to the way things were just a couple weeks ago my happy worry free self this isn't like me at all.
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Offline BuzzBee1

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Re: Anxiety due to Sexual Orientation
« Reply #1 on: December 14, 2013, 12:18:49 AM »
Hi Eddylow9

Welcome to the forum.  You are now a member of our community, where you will find support and advice from other members in similar situations.   It's always nice to find someone else who understands, and to know you're not alone.

We have sections in the forum that address specific concerns, so feel free to post or start a new topic in the section that best fits your situation.  Feel free to explore the rest of the forum.  You may find the other topics helpful, and you may be able to offer advice or support to someone else.

We also have a chat room for members over the age of 18.  Once you have made three meaningful posts, you will be allowed access to the chat room.

Eddylow, while I don't suffer from the same issues as you, I am sure you will find help and support here on the site.

Good luck to you, and again, welcome to AZ.

Buzzy
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