Hey guys, I'll try to keep this as to the point as possible. I'm a 21 year old college student in Wisconsin. My first symptoms started 2 summers ago with a feeling of detachment from reality especially in my vision. I also experienced heart attack-like symptoms a few times that summer. Then in fall 2012 when I got back to school it seemed like every morning after a night of drinking I would feel like my heart was out of control and I would be very anxious almost all day.
As spring came things gradually worsened still mostly after drinking but it would leak into Mondays sometimes as well. My symptoms transitioned more into this feeling like I wasn't seeing the world correctly. Sort of a removal from reality type feeling. Things didn't change much over the summer, but about halfway through this semester at school my symptoms have become much worse.
Alcohol is a common theme here and I am working on reducing that. When I drink now the day after is hell. Brain feels melted and I feel like I'm trapped inside my body. I've begun to feel this way almost all the time now. It definitely gets worse with less sleep. I usually feel fatigued most of the time, have little to no motivation, maybe depressed but I'm not sure what that feels like. My head always feels like it is holding tension. I don't get headaches, just this feeling of heaviness and tension. I'm not sure how else to describe it.
Most recently I've noticed my mind begin to feel like I'm living in a matrix and that the world isn't real, which is a terrible and anxiety provoking way to be thinking, but it feels irreversible. I just want to be able to get back to feeling "normal" like I used to. I'm not sure if it's just my heightened bodily awareness, especially of my head, that is making me feel like this or if it's something else.
Sorry for the rant it just feels good to let this out amongst a group of people that hopefully can relate to me because right now I feel very alone with all these symptoms.