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Author Topic: One year since it all began  (Read 298 times)

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Offline Fuzyyy

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One year since it all began
« on: December 09, 2013, 06:40:47 PM »
Hey everyone,

There's no particular reason why I'm posting this topics but it's been on my mind in the past few days, so I just wanted to get it off my chest so to speak :)

So tomorrow will be exactly a year after my anxiety first started for me. I remember it like it was a week ago or even less. This year has gone so quick but at the same time so much has happened. Including my thoughts and feelings towards my anxiety.

I kinda miss how I first felt to be honest (bit weird to say but that's me lol). I miss the apprehension and naivety of it all. In recent days I've remembered some feelings I felt in those first few days and weeks, I remember I used to not be able to get too sleep some nights and that I thought I had cancer or something more serious. I guess I'm lucky not to think those thoughts as such anymore.

It also hurts me too think how I've changed and what I've missed. The chances to go out that I rejected because I was too afraid and things like that. I'm also less active which I'm trying hard to change at the moment.

I also remembered the time I signed up for anxiety zone and all the times I've posted when I've needed help and advice which I simply couldn't have got from people that simply wouldn't have understood. This site had helped me a lot. I believe I'd be a lot worse without it! Tomorrow I start work in a supermarket. A few months ago I was afraid to even go shopping there because supermarkets were far too loud and busy for me. But now I'm feeling good about working there :)

Well there's not much else too say. As I said this is just something that I wanted to say. Thank you to everybody on here who's ever replied to help me!
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Offline MobileChucko

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2013, 07:46:16 PM »
Hey Fuzyyy...  Thank-you so much for the wonderful post, for sharing your success story.  It means a lot to me, to read a story like yours.  Helps to keep my hopes alive, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.  And congratulations on your new job!  The best to you!...  Chuck
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2013, 08:05:51 PM »
Hi Fuzyyy, can you share how you came out of it or what it is that made you feel better? Congratulations! :)
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Offline Fuzyyy

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2013, 08:23:28 PM »
Chuck - it's great too hear that this has helped you! I'm still on my 'journey' with anxiety if you will and trust me I still have bad days! But there is always hope, that's something I've learnt. And as long as you are still healthy and functioning then you're doing great. :)

Carrie - I'm not there yet! Anxiety still consumes a lot of my life, but I guess I've learnt to live with some aspects of it. My mind is taken away from the worries easier now.

It's great to hear that other people are benefiting from this post, especially as I never thought anyone would :P

Thank you for the replies! :)
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Offline Kristee

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2013, 10:56:45 PM »
Fuzzy, Thank you for sharing. Like others, it gives me "hope" too. I am finding the AnxietyZone very beneficial and thankful that I landed upon it. Could you share with us how you have succeeded this far? I realize we must each find our own path. I keep thinking there is this perfect recipe for healing but finding out that each person has found their own methods. I'm determined to be on this pursuit of healing which I call my "College of Life Long Learning," for an entire life. I do not want to go back to where I was.
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Offline geo_eccentric

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2013, 02:42:14 AM »
Sincerest congratulations!
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Offline Fuzyyy

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #6 on: December 11, 2013, 05:12:30 AM »
Kristee - I wish there was some perfect recipe or just something that would 'cure' us. But I have sat down or layed in bed at night thinking very hard about anxiety and what it's made up of.
I thought to myself that even though it feels very real to all of us, that something terrible is going to happen, anxiety is nothing more than thought.

Of course you've probably heard people say 'it's just in your head before'! But I also thought of all the time I've gone into a situation thinking I was going to get hurt or something as my anxiety personally does for me (it may be different for you) and I asked myself if anything actually ever happened, and it hadn't, still hasn't. Touchwood that it doesn't but so far for 12 months I've still been the same person before all this. I just worry and over-think a lot more.

I still get very frightened going anywhere, I used to run away and go home when it got too much. But usually when I got home I cried and beat myself up a bit thinking 'you could have done that, you're sitting here feeling perfectly fine so why wouldn't you out there'.

But I guess I'm lucky to say that I've learnt to live with most parts of this, brain fog and excessive thoughts mostly. Over time I realised these things cannot hurt, I hope you do sometime soon also:)

I hope this had been helpful. As I say I still suffer greatly but I'm getting there. As I'm sure you will too, you can do it!

Stay strong :)
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Offline Kristee

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2013, 10:35:29 PM »


I have found Dr. Claire Weekes material very helpful. She talks about how the brain has memory and it is easy to go back to the same old habits of using anxiety to react to a situation, etc. I realize that I must learn to react differently to anxiety provoking situations. Breathing techniques also help me. So far, it has been helping me. I found out about her on this forum. Please know that I am not recommending a certain path for anyone, this is just works for me. Everyone must find their own path and wishing everyone best wishes. It is easier said than done and takes a lot of practice.

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Offline nancyga13

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #8 on: December 18, 2013, 10:54:00 PM »
What a great story!!! Good for you  :happy0151: and Kristee I love dr. Claire weekes she has helped me through so much although your right it takes a lot of practice and its hard, I have to listen to it over and over at times because I fall off the path!!
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Offline LivingLife

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2013, 06:38:35 AM »
kinda funny we're on the same route, my first panic attack was dec 12th 2012, which is the day "it all began" I also used to be obsessed about my health, not cancer but more so about strokes and heart attacks, luckily I kinda got over that but now I'm battling with intrusive thoughts.
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Offline Fuzyyy

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Re: One year since it all began
« Reply #10 on: December 19, 2013, 05:13:11 PM »
LivingLife - exactly the same here. I don't really google symptoms or anything like that.

It's mostly thoughts and DR/DP that I think about now. I think things like 'what if all I'm seeing is just my imagination' 'what if tomorrow is my last day on earth'. I can't really help it they just appear out of no where. It's really tough, but the 'external' me just kelps going. I just carry on with whatever I'm doing and you wouldn't guess looking at me that my thoughts are what they are.
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