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Author Topic: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(  (Read 336 times)

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Offline Storyweaver

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I have had enlarged lymph nodes in my neck (huge, about the size of my thumb in length, and fairly thick) for years as well as a swollen tonsil on my right side. The tonsil looks mutated, a very strange shape. I went to the ENT several times, and talked about it here.

The ENT thought it was allergies and ordered blood tests to check, also looking at my cell count. Everything came back normal... no allergies. He said my lymph nodes weren't "big enough" for a biopsy and he wasn't worried. However, every single case of lymphoma and tonsil cancer I've seen had symptoms exactly like my own. :( I just "know" I will be diagnosed. And sadly, very sadly... These people went through what I went mthrough. ENTs feeling their neck and saying not to worry, missing obvious signs, and overlooking things. I am thinking of going in to demand a tonsil biopsy, maybe lymph biopsy. But I am just so terrified I don't even know if I have the courage. Even worse I REALLY need to hit the books, my finals are in two and a half days. I have SO much work to do and this is really distracting me.

Any words to help? Anyone have experience with this? Advice? It would be SO appreciated.
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Offline Joey8924

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2013, 01:14:17 AM »
You sound EXACTLY like me!!!

I have squishy feeling lymph nodes in my neck that I'm not worried about. My concern is a hard tiny lump I found 9 months ago under my jaw. I compare that with my thumb as well. My isn't as big as yours in width, mine seems to fit right in the center of my thumb. But I have been to an ENT also and he too told me he didn't think it was anything to worry about. He felt it and said it felt like a bone to him. I sat on that answer for the past 2 months and it isn't sitting well with me anymore. I also have finals coming up and find this worrying distracting but I also find doing school work takes my mind off of it. Especially when I'm doing my calc homework, all that math makes me my mind wonder off of being scared of this lump. I got blood tests too and my other doctor, the one who did them, told me she doesn't see anything wrong with my tests either.

So I have been debating back and forth with myself about going to see the ENT before christmas. I think I have finally worked up the courage to go back this week and ask for either a biopsy or scan. You should do the same. And the only advice I can give besides going to the doctor, is to try and actually focus on the homework. It works for me ..and I HATE homework and studying.
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Offline hamsterswheel

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2013, 03:02:11 AM »
Hi do you mean the length of your thumb nail or actual thumb? How many cm are you talking?9
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Offline Storyweaver

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2013, 04:41:34 AM »
My entire thumb.
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Offline hamsterswheel

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2013, 05:10:07 AM »
So about 6cm? How many do you have and where! Has your doctor confoed they are nodes?
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Online Allytiel90

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2013, 10:26:08 AM »
All I've got to say is be thankful you aren't sweating at night like me! Now there's a symptom! I'm convinced I have lymphoma.
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Offline marc

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2013, 11:05:04 AM »
My daughters friend had Hodgkins Lymphoma at 19 and his two main symptoms
were extreme weight loss (went form 210 to 160 pounds in a few months) and
extreme joint pain. He was stage 4 when diagnosed and is fine now 5 years later.
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If you're going through hell, keep going.
Never, Never, Never, give up.

Offline Lunatone

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2013, 01:04:41 PM »
Im afraid you're going in the wrong direction. Much as i know this will sound mean, it must be said.

The finals are what are making you focus on this fear of lymphoma. They are very big, important things and you are naturally very nervous about them. Anyone would be.

But rather than deal with it, you're latching onto the easy out. The one where its out of your direct control whether it succeeeds or fails. I do not for one second think youre doing this on purpose. But I also think its what is actually happening. Because I do it all the time.
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Offline skywizzard

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2013, 03:27:38 PM »
I am actually in a simillar situation, enlarged right tonsil and a lymph node on the right side, been to the ER, two ENTs, a few times to the GP and still convinced i have lymphoma which is developing slowly and doctors are just not picking up on it. Got three exams next week, but since this issue of mine is lasting for about a month and a half i bearly prepared at all, due to the constant obsessing, but somewhere deep down i think Lunatone is right, we use this whole hypochondria stuff as an excuse for laziness, at least i do. My grandad told me recently, you completely stopped living as if you already are dead, supposedly fearing cancer, but there are many people which have cancer and just go on with their lives, trying to keep some semblance of normal life, struggling along but functioning. And we, at least I, stopped functioning. Good luck with the finals :)
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Offline Gemmal

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2013, 03:47:19 PM »
I completely agree ! I was absolutely fixated on my lymphoma fear that I did not do as well in my finals and had to appeal !

Please don't let this happen to you story weaver I know it's easier said than done !

Anxiety is totally blocking my intention to move on with my life and I hope I can shake it off soon
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Offline Storyweaver

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2013, 05:22:26 PM »
Luna Tone: That was extremely insightful. Thank you. I didn't realize that. Maybe you're right. Thanks :). I'll try to keep that in mind.

Hamsterwheel: I probably forgot to mention that my thumb is very small. I have really small hands.  :laugh3: Um, its about half of my thumb on both nodes, they were confirmed to be lymph nodes. I'd say they are two cm each.

Allytiel: Yes, I have no sweats (in fact, I hardly sweat at any time). I do have quite a bit of itching though.


marc: That is comforting, I will try to keep this in mind. Just the idea of treatment and getting a diagnosis is too much to bare when I think about it. I don't have much joint pain, a little. No weight loss. In fact, between all of us... I gained 20 pounds this year! Haha. Trying to lose it right now.




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Offline Storyweaver

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Re: Lymphoma fears are getting stronger. Distracting me from finals. :(
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2013, 05:24:33 PM »
And thank you everyone for understanding about the finals. I will try harder to focus. It is hard to stop obsessing. But I will try to put the obsessions aside at least until I am done with this semester. I'm glad you guys can relate. I wouldn't want anyone to go through this, but I'm glad I'm not alone.
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