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Author Topic: Anxiety for going to restaurants  (Read 421 times)

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Offline tlebo

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Anxiety for going to restaurants
« on: December 04, 2013, 01:19:20 PM »
I find that one of my main anxiety triggers is going out to eat. I'm usually fine with family and my boyfriend but I find it hard with people I don't know well or people I work with. The 4 girls at work always go out for a Christmas lunch. The worst thing I think is the before hand.. We (well.. they) planned a lunch for 2 weeks from now and I am just constantly dreading it. I basically get anxiety about getting anxiety. I'm nervous that I'll be anxious while we're there and that I'll just want to leave. A lot of the time once I get to the restaurant I'm fine, but there have been a few times where I'm anxious and awkward and just feel like running for the door. I'm just going to see how I feel the day of the lunch and if I'm too anxious just tell them I'm not feeling well. My problem is I honestly just don't want to go.. But then I feel like I'm giving up and giving into the anxiety. I just wish they never planned

What would you do? Give in or go?
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Online CarrieAnn

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2013, 08:54:41 PM »
I would feel the same way you do, but I would go. I have two parties to go to coming up, one on Dec. 14 and the other on Dec. 15. and I'm shaking in my boots at the thought of going. I also hate to eat when I'm anxious, because lets face it, it's just hard to eat when you're anxious, let alone do it while in the company of many people. I recently was invited to a wedding of which I debated whether to go or not. I decided to go because when I don't go, or give in to my anxiety I end up feeling worse. So, at the wedding when it came time to eat, I ate, but not too much. I think it's ok to only eat a tiny bit if anything at all, even if it's just one bite. When the wedding was over I felt as though I conquered the world because I went. Just tell yourself, 'it's ok to feel these feelings of discomfort--I'm not going to fight them--they will subside soon--I will be ok'. Good Luck :)
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Offline tlebo

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2013, 01:12:19 PM »
Thanks for your advice!
I read part of this post yesterday - http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,35050.0.html
It's a challenge to get yourself out and going to restaurants on a regular basis to get comfortable with it. I think I may try it!
I made my work aware of my anxiety about a month ago when I was feeling really anxious. I just felt stupid because I kept making up excuses to why I couldn't attend a lot of get togethers. I find it a hard thing to tell people (except my family) but they were really understanding so it made me feel better.
We're having a Christmas party at work tonight. I told them I wouldn't be attending but after reading that "Challenge" post I think I'll go!
I think one of the reasons I am comfortable to go now is because I'm not expected to go. And if I decided to go a month ago I would of dreaded it for a month!

We'll see how it goes!
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Offline tlebo

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2013, 01:12:12 PM »
I just wanted to say that I went to the Christmas Party.. and I survived! Surprising I didn't have much anxiety before hand. When I got there I felt a bit shaky but I just kept socializing and it eventually went away.  :bigsmile:
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Online CarrieAnn

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2013, 02:20:21 PM »
That is really wonderful! You just gave me hope that I can get through my upcoming parties too :)
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Offline tlebo

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #5 on: December 17, 2013, 07:15:40 PM »
How did the parties go CarrieAnn?

My lunch is in 2 days - I just want to get it over with lol!
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Online CarrieAnn

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2013, 08:32:43 PM »
They went very well :) I wrote a post about it--I didn't eat a whole lot, just a few bites. The food was very casual, sandwiches, pasta, salad, cake, cookies, but I have a wheat allergy so I didn't want to over-do it--mostly everything had wheat in it. I was happy that I didn't have any panic attacks, that has been an issue for me the last few years. There was a time that I loved to go out to eat etc., and I would eat like a horse, I hope to get back to my old self one of these days.

I hope you decide to go to your luncheon, and have a good time as well :)
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Offline tlebo

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #7 on: December 19, 2013, 07:48:48 PM »
That is great! I just read your other post. That's so exciting for you! :)

Last night I was feeling a bit anxious about the lunch but I just tried not to think about it.
Felt a little anxious today but not much at all. Then we went - no anxiety at all! Before hand I was thinking maybe I'll eat soup or something easy but I ended up getting a wrap with soup and fries and ate quite a bit.

I find that you feel so much better if you just do it - no matter how uncomfortable you might feel. I am proud of myself and extremely happy that I went :)
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Online CarrieAnn

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2013, 08:47:41 PM »
Hi tlebo, Yay!! I'm happy for you :) It is so much better to go than not to; I find that in the past I worked myself up so much before hand that it would turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I would bring the high anxiety and panic on myself, because of fearing it. But last Saturday and Sunday I recognized my negative thoughts creeping in, so I just started to shoot them down with more positive thoughts, and it worked!
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Offline Nd84

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Re: Anxiety for going to restaurants
« Reply #9 on: December 19, 2013, 09:26:32 PM »
So happy for you!  To people without anxiety this would not be a challenge but to your family here, we congragulate you!  Never let stupid anxiety stop you from anything!  I call it "stupid" to take away it's power and i think mentally it helps!  Say it to yourself whenever you feel anxious! :bigsmile:
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