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Offline kathmjon

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Dating.....
« on: December 02, 2013, 04:23:53 PM »
I have been off sick from work with anxiety and depression for over 6 mths.....I have suffered with this since age of 18.....I have been chatting with someone who I like off the dating site POF the last month or so and hve chatted on he phone a couple of times.  Even though he knows I am off sick he doesnt know real reason.  I have told him that I cant meet until I am better and he has put no presure on me.
I would like to ask for advice on when is the best time to meet up? Do I wit until I am fully well which could be I dont know when or do I risk it? I started dating someone t start of illness but had to end it due to not handling it.  Thanks.x
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Offline crikee57

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2013, 04:43:45 PM »
I think you should set a time to meet when you are ready, but I would not wait until you are "fully well."  In all honesty, anxiety and depression are not like a cold and unfortunately we will not just get over it one day.  If you keep your life on hold waiting for that magical moment that you are better then your life will pass you by.  Be honest with him and see where it goes from there.  If he cares about you he will support you either way.  I hope this helps and good luck.  We all deserve to be happy.
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It's not what's in front of us that stops us.  It's what's inside that holds us back.

Offline kathmjon

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2013, 06:02:55 PM »
Thankyou for your reply crikee57....your right.....the worst thing that can happen is I would have to put dates on hold and then if he wanted to leave things then he wouldnt be right for me in the first place.  Im sick of this illness spoiling my life...just want some happiness.....wishing you all the best  :happy0151:
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Offline crikee57

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2013, 06:05:52 PM »
Just remember that it is all part of who you are and if you start off hiding things then any relationship you have will not have a chance.  I have had many times when I was frustrated with the anxiety and panic ruining things for me, but that is why you have to accept and push through.  You deserve happiness and someone who loves you for who you are.  Good luck. :)
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It's not what's in front of us that stops us.  It's what's inside that holds us back.

Offline kathmjon

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2013, 06:14:20 PM »
Thankyou.....there is more to me than this illness....but think its something I have to learn to live with so need someone who can see past that.... :happy0151:
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Offline Faust

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2013, 03:22:41 PM »
Honestly, I would be honest with him and let him know why you have been off work for so long.  It's better that he knows in the beginning, rather than too late.  With my experience of dating, being completely honest is the best course of action.
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Offline jcm1808

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2013, 11:21:50 PM »
I agree with everyone else. I'm in the exact same boat trying to date on POF too, but it's all you can do is be honest. If that person won't accept you for who you are, they aren't worth it anyway!
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Offline BrookeAshley1

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #7 on: December 05, 2013, 12:03:47 PM »
I agree with everyone about being honest with him. If this is something he doesn't want to deal with, then its not someone you want in your life. If he's a caring person, he will accept its been a part of your life and want to be there for you. I wouldn't wait till you feel "perfectly" well. I think part of anxiety/depression is we want that 100% perfect time to do certain things and well just like everything else in life, there's never a "perfect" time. Wait till you're comfortable, but don't wait too long. Maybe you can talk about this over the phone? That might make you more comfortable. I hope it goes well for you and good luck :)
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Giving up is always an option, but it is never my choice.

Offline kathmjon

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Re: Dating.....
« Reply #8 on: December 06, 2013, 02:33:57 PM »
Thankyou all for your helpful advice.  It is so difficult meeting someone.  At the moment, I find it very anxiety provokingeople I am close to and I cannot even face my work collegues at the moment.  I feel if I find those situations difficult how could I meet a stranger.  Ive taken on board advice about being honest.  Thankyou.  Wishing you good health x
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