Hi, I'm brand new here and I was a bit reluctant to join because I've never been officially diagnosed, but I'm almost certain that I have anxiety and have been told by a doctor that it's very likely. Often I can deal with it alright, but as soon as I step even slightly out of my comfort zone I can't cope with anything. I thought I'd been okay recently, but all of a sudden, over the past few days, it's like I've crashed and I can't handle anything; it's worse than ever.
I'm 20 and I'm supposed to be going on my first overseas trip to Europe on Sunday. I'm flying over by myself and will be travelling alone at some points over the seven weeks. Up until recently I've mostly been really excited because it's something I've always wanted to do. But over the past few days I've been getting progressively more anxious about it and now I don't want to go at all. I've been crying constantly, can't sleep, feeling nauseous and I've been having really bad chest pains and can't relax. I'm so so scared of going and I wish I could be excited but I'm not at all. I'm too scared to leave my home, I'm too scared to be in a place I'm not familiar with and I'm really really really terrified of not being with my family. I want to cancel the trip so badly and I can't even find it in me to care about how much I'd regret doing that or how much money I'd lose. The only reason I haven't cancelled yet is because I'd be letting people down. I'm not really scared of flying and not so much scared of something happening to me while I'm gone, but I'm scared of something happening to someone at home while I'm gone and can't do anything about it. My grandparents were supposed to go away at the start of this year but then my great-grandmother passed away and I'm terrified beyond belief that the same thing will happen with my great-grandpa or another member of my family. I'm scared of not being able to contact anyone while I'm on the plane and not being able to know my family have gotten home safely. I've had to come home early from camps before and this is so much bigger than that that I have no idea how, or if, I'm going to be able to handle it.
Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome the anxiety? I want to be able to relax and be excited and enjoy myself but I know that I won't be able to if I'm like this. As soon as one tiny thing goes wrong or not according to plan I freak out and start having mild panic attacks which are only getting worse the closer the trip gets. I want to overcome it so that I can go, but a stronger part of me wants to just miss the plane and cancel everything so I can stay home. Please help, I really don't know if I can go through with this trip.