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Author Topic: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?  (Read 295 times)

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Offline laineymom

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Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« on: November 27, 2013, 09:46:12 AM »
Shouldn't I look forward to it? I have always been a person that could talk about my feelings, wasn't afraid to delve deep, etc. Therapy before has made me feel relief. But since I have been dealing with anxiety and panic to a major degree this past month, talking out loud about my feelings to anyone has been almost impossible. Like something shut down in me. I can't really cry, I feel sickish when I have to talk about things. And I don't even have anything major going on in my life. I have kids that are great, a wonderful hubby. I am sad because we sent my stepson to college this year and my son goes next year, I kind of feel life slipping away. There's guilt from being divorced and only having my kids half the time, there's worry that I'll die early like my Dad did when I was 15, blah, blah, blah. But should any of that make me go off the deep end and be gripped in panic like I have been the past month?

I am starting CBT today. Wish me luck.
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Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2013, 10:55:51 AM »
No matter how big or small the stressors seem, I think it's kind of a shock to us all when we "go off the deep end" as you put it. My stressors seemed not "worthy"'enough to me....this person or that person had it so much worse then me. Which would add guilt to the pile, ironically making things worse. Self fulfilling prophecy. Anyway, it's so hard to understand the complexity of our psyche. It's understandable that you're nervous, this isn't the "you" that you're used to so it makes sense that you're processing things differently. But you'll be ok, and be proud of yourself for taking this step.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2013, 09:56:51 PM »
I have felt the same way with my therapist. I think for me the mere fact of having anxiety made me more anxious, which made me not really want to talk about it, for fear I would stir up those feelings. I don't think I ever had anything 'major' to talk about either, it was just difficult to face those feelings head on. Hope that makes sense :)
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Offline scb07d

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2013, 11:18:59 PM »
I might know why people end up feeling this way...

Ultimately, your therapist is a stranger. Many therapists won't tell you anything significant about themselves. It's not like talking to a friend of family member. Even though they're trained to be non-judgmental and everything, it's a situation where you're talking about your feelings with someone who isn't going to reciprocate.

Good luck with CBT... but perhaps be careful with so-called "thought restructuring."
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Offline jfrank17

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2013, 11:13:20 AM »
I always feel anxious when I go to my psychiatrist appointments, even when I'm doing well.  For me it throws me back into feeling like a patient, that something is wrong and abnormal with me.  It's not a regular part of daily living, and in some deep down place it's a bit humiliating for me I think, even though my psychiatrist is very sweet and is not condescending in any way.  It's hard to really explain, but it just gives that little sense of "something is wrong with me" that can set off stress and anxiety, self-doubt and so on.  I'm always glad when it is over and I can move on with "regular life."
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Offline mta214

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2013, 10:01:53 PM »
Even though my therapist is a rare gem (in my opinion), I feel very anxious before my session.  This happens almost all of the time. I tell her about it, and she just tries to assure me that I'm safe, etc.  If I have something major on my mind that's difficult to talk about, often times I will write it out and give it to my tdoc to read.  I find that quite helpful!

Good luck with CBT.  It was really helpful to me.
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Offline laineymom

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2013, 10:35:20 AM »
Thanks so so much all of you. I went to my appointment and it was way better than I had envisioned. I was actually able to cry and she brought me to some realizations about what I've been dealing with without really knowing or acknowledging or saying out loud. Some of the things she said that resonated with me most are- 1. You're not crazy 2. The only way out of anxiety is through it and 3. The way I deal with loss (my Dad died when I was 15 and my Mom went kind of loopy so I was in survival mode for a long, long time) is more primal- so that's why the fight or flight when I'm anxious about feelng loss again (and right now it's worrying about my oldest leaving for college).

Anyways, I am almost on week four with Cymbalta and I'm feeling SO much better. Not 100% yet, but much less anxious on a daily basis. 1/2 Xanax at bedtime gets me a decent night's sleep, even though I STILL always wake up between 2 & 4 and have to go back to sleep, but I can do it, rather than have to get up and be anxious for hours.

I read people's stories in the midst and I feel such sympathy and want to give everyone a big hug and tell you all that you're not alone.
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Offline mta214

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Re: Why do I feel so anxious about going to my therapy appointment?
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2013, 10:51:49 PM »
I'm glad the session went 'll.  I'm afraid of loss too, which is something I'm currently addressing.  Not an easy err pad, for sure, but just know that there is lots of support here!!
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