Hey everyone, this may be a long post, but I just want to vent and get this off my chest.
The days don't seem to get any easier. I'm 20 years old, still a virgin, I've been single for about 98% of my life, and I can't seem to attract girls at all. I believe this is due to my low confidence and I need help!
I was really shy growing up as it was, and as I went through my middle school years I dealt with bullying which made it even worse (sorry if it sounds like I'm starting a pity party everyone, I apologize now). The bullying stopped before I got up to High School, but it seemed to leave a mental scar of low confidence and anxiety which followed me up until this day. In high school itself, I strayed away from flirting or talking to girls because I was really nervous all the time and low confidence gave me a big fear of failure. I had two girlfriends in that time but never did anything except hug them. I was too nervous to kiss them or go any further. This led them to both break up with me because I obviously wasn't giving them the attention they deserved.
Now I'm in my 3rd year of college, I haven't had a girlfriend since I was 17, and I feel lonelier than ever nowadays. I still have very low confidence and a big fear of failure. I have great friends and family, but there's a certain loneliness of not having/never having that special someone in my life of whom I intimately cared about that I feel everyday.
When it comes to girls, I just don't seem to attract them. When I do make an attempt and talk to them, they seem uninterested. I'm definitely not the best looking guy, but I feel like I'm not the worst either. I have a lot of friends who seem to have girls always coming up to them and talking to them or flirting with them and they don't even have to do any work. Is it because they beam confidence?
What it more-or-less comes down to is that I don't mind being a virgin at 20. I do, however, mind that I can't seem to interest any girls. I fear that I'm going to be lonely for the rest of my life. I fear that I will get into a relationship and mess everything up. I fear that I'll get rejected. I fear that I'll be judged. I fear that I won't know what to say. I fear that theres something wrong with me. I don't want to fear, I try to ignore everything, but it just seems to always pop in my head when I try to flirt. People tell me to just stop worrying and be myself, but it's not that simple, at least not in my mind.
So has anyone else gone through this fear of failure or low confidence? If so, can you give me any advice on how you fixed it? Once again, sorry for this long rant, I just needed to get it off my chest. Thanks all!