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Author Topic: Do certain people make you more anxious?  (Read 839 times)

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Offline Emma197

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2013, 07:17:07 AM »
Thanks for the replies. For me it's my mother in law, think it may be because she likes to create drama and you can never predict how she will act when you are around her, just the thought of her coming to my house makes me anxious lol
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Offline ilikemushrooms

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2013, 03:43:04 AM »
yes omg. sadly its my parents and my closest friend. i also get anxious around negative and anxious people as well.
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Offline fearnot

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2013, 06:53:10 AM »
First of all, fighting with anxiety or resisting it will cause it to persist.

Secondly, nobody can make you feel anxious - only you can do that!

Anxiety is simply an emotional “reaction”. Nobody has a magical anxiety wand that they wave over you. Don’t be fooled.

All these people are just people. They can only motivate you to feel anxious because of something that you associate with them - shame, guilt, pressure, responsibility etc - which is triggered in the form of anxiety while you are in their presence.

By you, for you, you assigned emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, and certain qualities and judgments such as good / bad and right / wrong, to that person.

Since you assigned all that, it also means you have the power to reassign all those things. Yes, you.

This is an important realisation because it can help you shift from feeling victimised to feeling empowered.

When you’re around these people, anxiety is like a bell ringing informing you of a message that’s trying to be delivered. The message can be about anything negative you’ve not yet resolved e.g false beliefs, excessive need for validation, high insecurity, failure to assume responsibility, not being true to who you are etc.

So wishing the symptoms away or avoiding people isn’t going to help.

When you’re faced with these people/events, and the anxiety bell is ringing, look beyond the symptoms of the moment and try to figure out what is the underlying message that you’ve been avoiding / ignoring?

Huh? Well, for example, “Mary Joe always seems angry, and when I’m around people like her who are angry, I feel anxious. I think it’s because in the past I got criticised unfairly when Auntie Sue was angry, and I don’t deal with confrontation very well. I feel really uncomfortable and stressed. I think I can resolve this by learning to become more assertive, less avoidant, and learning how to deal with conflict. I can do this by X, Y and Z.. etc”
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Offline AncientMelody

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2013, 07:02:10 AM »
I think you make a lot of good points, just wanted to say though. Feeling anxious doesn't inherently = feeling victimized. My anxiety is mkt issue not anyone else's.
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Offline PinkIcePrincess

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2013, 08:00:51 AM »
Yes 100% People can trigger Stress and Depression also Anxiety because they can wear your nerves down to the bone but WE DO ALLOW IT!!

 For me I have Parents that have always been hard to deal with due to drinking and drugs and messing up my childhood so now that they are older and now their health is failing I am the one who has to be strong and help them out...I am not well myself so this is very hard to do but I have too they are my Parents... My Mom has Cancer and my Dad has Heart Problems and I am all they have.. My step dad passed away then my Brother so my Mom has no one else but me and my Dad well he is married but they haven't been together for years so she sure isn't going to help and my only living brother is a drinker and a mess.. so its on me so yes I am stressed and anxious.. I also have a brain Tumor and it needs to come out but I am unable to do that until I get them through their medical issues and right now with Mom it isn't looking good.... so then my son springs it on me he is getting married next year so for me to have brain surgery I am trying to figure out when I can!!!

 Friend will drain the life out of you and cause so much stress Ughhhhhhhh but like I said we allow it.. I am guilty of helping so many people but myself.. but sometimes we have no choice like with my Parents... I could never walk away and let them die alone .

 We have to learn coping skills and how to deal with each person because each one is different.. I do wish everyone would ease up on me and let me breatheeeeeeeeeeee and get myself better but right now No time for that only some days..
 My Phone stays Busy but I have to do what I have too...

Good Luck and learn some coping skills and meditate or Prayer which helps me and a lot of tears right now.. sorry I just know it isn't easy.

Take care of YOU first if possible and get away from those that you really don't like and work on the anxiety triggers when around some and ask why its happening what did they do or is where you are at.. Therapy will help !!
PinkIcePrincess
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Offline Irish1

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #15 on: November 16, 2013, 01:43:13 PM »
certain people would make me more anxious than others, its nothing to do with what they say now or anything, its the opposite actually its that they ignore me and pass me out on the street as if I was a stranger and Im their sister, I cant understand what I did, so I just have to learn to deal with those situations, like whenever someone gets sick and they go to visit too, they will ignore me and ever when I say hi to them they don't answer me, I feel very anxious inside then , I don't know why ,but the fact that they are family makes it worse in that way. so I figured I would stop trying to be nice then because they just ignore me and I feel worse then, so I cant really do anything about that,
I cant understand it, but I have learn't to live with that and I don't see it ever changing, his wife then acts not very nice around me also then, she thinks that I am to blame , for what, I haven't a clue,  she actually pulled up in her car a few months back and my mother was with me and she said come up for a coffee to the house sometime , I will call you on the phone first, well, we never got that call,
Its probably just aswell because I feel very uncomfortable in their house especially if he wouldnt talk to me and just ignore me, whats the point in that
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Offline Emma197

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2014, 07:45:28 AM »
Turns out I had good reason to feel anxious when my mother in law was around as she tried to attack me recently
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Offline shaula

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #17 on: January 22, 2014, 10:00:32 AM »
Hello :)

I find that my anxiety is worse around people exude a negative energy: people who are grumpy, or have something negative to say, or are rude, that kind of thing really makes me feel horridly anxious. I don't want to be caught up in that, you know? I already deal with enough of it from my own anxious thoughts...other than that, I can't really say.

Oh, doctors! Any type of office visit makes me so so so so anxious. I have actually been asked if I had high blood pressur because my readings go from normal to way out there from my anxiety, ehich I then have to explain to others  :sick0002:
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Everything will be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end.

Hold on if you feel like letting go.

Offline Kissa

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Re: Do certain people make you more anxious?
« Reply #18 on: January 23, 2014, 05:13:55 AM »
Oh hell yes!
1. bipolar fast cycle boss that doesn't take meds.
2. my mother
3. bill collectors (having MAJOR financial problems at the moment)

I'm sure there are more... but those are the top 3.
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Just because I understand an acknowledge what I am worrying about is silly, doesn't mean I'm able to stop worrying about it.
~One Breath at a Time~

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