Nice to hear from you again Vangellis. I hear you on the matter of a frustrated wife. Due to my depression we have had a long period of no sex as well. I give you props for sharing the length of time without having sex. My wife thinks it is strange that I know the date we last had sex. Scary thing is that depression takes the drive right out of you. Age and medical problems are doing the same for me. Age makes one invisible, and depression makes one undesirable to be with. A very bad place to be.
I believe that depression is an illness that is deadly. I believe it commands priority over everything. I also believe that there is such a thing as recovery, but it is only after one surrenders to the permanence of the condition. That they will not one day "get over it and get back to the way things used to be." I think a chapter in life has closed, for good. A new chapter is opening with different characteristics. I engage in multiple forms of help ranging from medication, to individual sessions, to various peer support and health care. I feel motivated to do none of it, but that does not dictate my behavior for the moment. I think the anhedonia, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness are all symptoms of an illness from which one can recover. I would suggest commitment to self care as a priority over the marriage (IMO). I believe it is way to presumptuous to believe death as an improvement over attempting recovery. Although, as a sufferer, it makes total sense. I was raised Catholic and currently embrace Christianity, so taking my own life remains an unattractive option.
Anyway, I want you to know that you are thought of and prayed for.