Forgive me if I'm doing not posting correctly, I've never joined a blogging website let alone on an anxiety website. What brings me here today is how out of control my physical symptoms have become, I personally cannot say they are a result of my anxiety bc I believe they are what causes the anxiety but doctors say otherwise...
As I write this post I am sitting in the waiting room of a hospital that just discharged me, hoping my heart won't start fluttering again but expecting it will happen and fearing the worst.
The question I have for the ppl on this form is: is it really possible for anxiety to be causing all this? Even if it is, should I be willing to risk my life assuming doctors are correct when many ppl die from medical errors.
Let me try to briefly tell my story. I am a 21 year old male, former student-athlete in college, extreme health nut (tons of working out and eating well). I had to drop out of school and d1 lacrosse bc of the repercussions of my experience I am about to explain. This began 10 weeks ago when I made the foolish mistake to take the drug MDMA. I took a lot of it and it sent my heart rate up to 165 in a matter of minutes. I have no history of anxiety before this nor does it run in my family (no health issues besides lung cancer in my family history either). I thought I was fine until I almost passed out while sitting so I called 911 and was rushed to the hospital. There I was monitored for 5 hours until the drug finally left my system and I began to calm down. I stayed over night as well. They discharged me the next morning and I was on my way. The next day I had a lacrosse game but while I was playing something felt wrong w/ my heart. I brushed it off and kept playing. On the way home I experienced my first panic attack due to chest pain. I called an ambulance and again went back to the hospital. This became a pattern for the next few weeks, however I was still able to function as a human being then (play sports, workout, socialize, etc). I was referred to a cardiologist where they did a blood test, EKG, stress echo, and later another stress test. I passed w/ flying colors but things got worse. Each day the pain grew and so did my anxiety. I have been to the hospital close to 20 times in 10 weeks. I also got a Catscan of my neck, more blood tests, and chest x-rays. Doctors found absolutely nothing.
Fast forward a few weeks and I've lost 25lbs, I can't run let alone doing any physical activity bc they are inducing PVCs and 3 days ago I had a series of PVCs in a row (luckily I was wearing a holter monitor, but they haven't reviewed it yet), so I called 911 again, they found nothing...
I have reason to believe that drug use could have caused actual damage to my heart that doctors are not seeing. When I was in highschool I used steroids and I was prescribed adderal. I also was a heavy user of preworkout stimulants and alcohol on weekends. This past summer I began using cocaine (a max of 20 times) but not heavily, I never even bought it, I just took what I was offered. Needless to say I regret this to a degree words cannot express.
For the past 10 weeks I have not touches any substance, even caffeine, dairy, and beef. Yet my symptoms have gotten worse: chest pain, neck pain, rapid heart rate, bracycardia, muscle spasms all over body, palps after I try and eat, and hand tremors.
If I check myself in one more time I think they are gonna send me to the psychward. I'm not crazy, I just want to preserve my life. Wish I could explain more but my phone is dying. Please send me your thoughts. Thank you.