I just joined this community with hopes that it will help me out.
My dad died 09/27/2011.
In March 2012, I came home from my aunts house with what seemed like a bug. I had eaten some possible uncooked chicken andI had a fever of 101 and felt cold/chills. I went straight to bed. Woke up the next morning with no more fever, but lots of gas, stomach gurgling. Decided to take the day off of work and stay in bed
Over the weekend, I stayed pretty much in bed. I noticed when getting up that I was feeling lightheaded, almost like my balance was completely off. This continued and didnít go away for months.
I started panicking thinking something was seriously wrong with me. I was never the type to get worried/concerned about my health whenever I wasnít feeling well.
I began thinking I might have a brain tumor.
I went back into work, but during this time wasnít concentrating on my work at all. Instead, I was surfing the net the entire day looking up reasons for my light headed feeling. This got me even more worried and my anxiety was in full swing.
One day, I was driving to my g/fís work to pick her up. When driving there, I was feeling this odd sensation in my throat as if something was stuck in there. It was almost to the point where I thought I was going to choke and was having difficulty breathing.. My neck/upper chest was also very red and I ended up going to the ER.
Once I got to the ER, I suddenly calmed down and the feeling went away. I decided to stay anyways and get looked at for my lightheaded feeling I was still experiencing.
They took a look at my ears and said I had some fluid build up and the doctor gave me some antibiotics.
I couldnít get myself to work anymore and eventually had a nervous breakdown. I was scared of how my g/f would react to my state of mind and was also worried. She told me she would be there for me and i felt better when I knew she was going to be by my side no matter what.
During this time off, I was referred to a psychologist who at first didnít seem to help much, but as time passed I started to notice she was actually helping me out quite a bit.
I was also going swimming a lot which I really found helped me relax quite a bit.
At this point, I didnít know what anxiety was and how to deal with it. Plain and simple .. I was scared I was going to always feel this way.
One day, I had a deep talk with my GF and just told myself I would fight this lightheaded sensation by not thinking the worst and fighting it.
I went back to work to get my daily routine going again and eventually the lightheaded feeling went away.
I was good for a span of 6 months, when suddenly I started noticing that I had to go to the bathroom to urinate very frequently. I started panicking again, and searching through Google for causes.
I had then started to panic I had kidney cancer and started analysing what I was drinking and how often I had to go.
Eventually, when I dealt with the anxiety again, the feeling went away.
I then noticed once morning in April that I had this weird skin mark on my left hand. I started to think it was skin cancer and began once again spending my entire days on Google.
I got myself a doctor and went in to explain my situation. I didnt mention anything about me having healthy anxiety but that I wanted her to do a general check up and also take a look at my skin mark.
She said she wasnít sure what it was, but to keep an eye on it and if it didnít disappear to come back and see her. She also sent me for bloodwork.
My skin mark was starting to disappear and then I get a call from the doctorís office. The secretary tells me that the doctor wants me to do additional bloodtests because she found my hemoglobin level to be borderline.
Once I got off the phone with her, I started googling about low hemoglobin and started reading about anemia and how it can signal intestinal internal bleeding.
This caused my anxiety to return yet again. I wasnít experiencing any physical symptoms this time, just constant worry that something else was wrong and that I had cancer.
I go for my 2nd bloodtest and wait anxiously for the doctor to call me and tell me something was wrong... but she never did...
This was obviously a good sign, but instead of seeing it positively .. I started thinking maybe she didnít get the results which is why she didnít call me. I ended up calling the doctorís office myself to make sure they got the results and of course they had !
Even with this good news, I started getting anxious anyways that something was still wrong with me.
I then developed a very vague and almost non existent discomfort in my abdomen.
This then disappeared and moved to the right side and then the middle.
What is even crazier is that when I am about to go to sleep, the pain disappears and also isnít existent in the morning when I wake up. Itís only once I get my mornings going that I notice the pain beginning to bother me. Do other people notice that anxiety triggers in the morning with physical symptoms but when you rest you feel better? I guess when your body is relaxed (which it is usually when non anxious) your symptoms don't appear ?
It's even crazzier when you think about all the symptoms I have had, that they all eventually dissapeared and that I still worry to this day something is wrong with me. I also don't think this is a coincidence that this all started after my father passed away. It was very hard for me, i lived with him and my mom wasn't in the country when he died. I was in shock and didn't really grieve.