I was married for 5 1/2 years my wife and I decided to separate. She ran off two hours away from the city we lived in with my daughter ,and I have not talk to my daughter since! She will not accept my phone calls emails text. The court system has failed me time and time again. All of my financials are locked up in a house that we are selling that will not sell, because the real estate market is so slow. I'm living at home with my mother. I have no friends. I've been drinking and doing drugs, as a coping mechanism. I am so depressed and lost, angry betrayed hurt. I've had years of depression and anxiety. All of which were pretty much under control until the situation happened. My daughter is two years and nine months old and she's the world to me! I feel my future this bleak! I have major thoughts of 0119 and self harm and I feel like harming others. Everybody that I know feels for me, but that doesn't help because there's nothing they can do. All I get his advice advice advice that doesn't help my situation. I tried AA meetings, I talk to an AA counselor, I'm in counseling, I'm on medication. I basically feel nothing can help, i'm so alone I'm confused. I drive around drunk looking for drugs maybe even hoping that somehow ill die. I don't know what to do anymore! My mind keeps telling me I can't I can't I can't, I feel so weak very weak I'm tired and I'm sick of this. All I can pictures years and years of heartache and depression, feeling lost being unwanted by other women I don't know how to interact with people. I need a miracle that will never come!