I've been updating in my other thread, but last night was the worst. Last night was dose 11 of Zoloft, day 4 at 50mg. After spending the weekend out of town with family (which was fairly okay), I was already dreading coming back to the town I work in, because I knew I would be alone. I tried all my coping mechanisms - I walked for 45 minutes, talked to my girlfriend via 0366 (who lives halfway across the country), tried to sit down and play some video games, tried to watch a movie, took a hot shower, tried to meditate/focus on mindfulness, but nothing could pull me out of that tight feeling that I was right on the brink of panic. I seriously debated driving to the closest psychiatric hospital and voluntarily checking myself in.
I took .5 mg of Xanax, waited 45 minutes to which I wasn't feeling any better, then took .5mg more. After about half hour, I finally felt it kick in and was able to lay down and fall asleep. After about three hours, I woke up again, extremely anxious and figity, so I took another .5mg of Xanax. After 45 minutes or so, I fell back asleep, then woke up at 6:00am and laid there figiting until my alarm clock went off to get up for work. I took another .5mg of Xanax before coming to work (so a total of 2mg in the past 12 hours), but I don't feel comfortable taking that much that frequently. I live alone, hours away from family. I've asked them to come stay with me but they're all so busy with their own lives. I can't help but think I'm almost through the adjustment period to the Zoloft and I just need to hold on for a few more days.
Should I ask my work for a couple days off and go stay with my mom? Should I keep taking relatively high doses of Xanax (2-3mg/day) to power through this? Should I talk to my GP about switching meds? I have an appt with a psychiatrist but it's a week and a half out. I'm just so scared and I don't think I could handle another night like last night.