Recently I have been experiencing some quite peculiar thing about myself. Let me provide you guys with some back story, my ocd/anxiety problems have started at around summertime of this year, and I have experienced countless amounts of obsessive thoughts and worries such as being gay, killing someone etc. My hocd has lasted until September until my fear of developing schizophrenia,schizoid, and personality disorders came along which just completely "cured" me of my hocd but let me with a new obsession that is much much worse.
My schizophrenia fear consists of me spending hours on end researching on google to prove to myself that I dont have this disease, although it makes me feel worse most of the time.
The symptoms that make me suspect that I have schizophrenia are:
Because of my anxiety I find that I talk to myself a whole lot (internally more than externally)
I sometimes think that Im delusional or that I am hallucinating, so I have to prove to myself that i am not by ether finding the source of the sound or thing that I saw, or to ask others if "they heard/saw that"
I make up scenarios in head (If my teacher asks another person a question, ill just think to myself what would I say if he asked me that or something on the lines of that)
Rehearsing conversations, when I want to go speak to a teacher or high authority speaker I sometimes repeat what I want to say in my head
Internal echolalia, sometimes when someones says something; it will get repeated once in my mind and then I start to freak out because the thoughts of schizophrenia come up or when im looking at courses that i can take in the future, for instance geography, I thought/memory will pop up in mind that remindes me that my friend said the "I failed that course," in the exact words that he said on that day.
But recently I have been developing a fear of having schizoid personality disorder on top of my schizophrenia fear
I suspect this because I have always been a shy person,but I have plenty of friends and I always have a reaction to praise and criticism, but one day I was hungry so I had decided to go all out and get myself a massive meal, but my teacher from last year was there as well, so I decided not sit close to her because I would fear that she would judge or comment on my big and unhealthy meal. Or sometimes when I act like stupid (talking like this "HURR DEER HER" (joking in front of my friends) and people look at me, I get the predisposed notion that they thinK Im autistic or something.
So what do guys think? am I developing the diseases that Im fearing all along or is it just my hypochondria or social anxiety (although that is he only situation where I feel nervous in, as well as talking to teacher (sometimes) or a person with high authority. I am really confused right now and any form of guidance and information would be greatly appreciated.