Hi this is my first time joining a forum for people with panic disorders.
Anyways I'll start from the beginning.
My first experience with anxiety started last year of febuary, I haven't been outside for awhile and I decided to go out of town with my big sister. We walked around and ate at a chipotle. later I started feeling a pounding in my head but I jsut ignored it. it began to get worse and worse throughout the day, then we went inside a store and i felt dizzy, the room began spinning and my heart started pounding. I lost breatha nd I had to go outside, I fely like i was about to die that day. my sis took me to get water and we sat in the car and drove back home. my headach was still there but i decided to sleep it off when i got home. after that i felt different, I was to afraid to go outside. all iw ould do is sit in bed and i would shake and shiver remembering that event. the next week on a thursday i had class that day and an esssay test to write. i took a s hower but then all of a sudden my heart began to pound and i felt like i couldn't breath. i had to go to the hospital and they diagnosed me with a virus. i went home and stayed in bed but still shaking. the only thing that would calm me down was watching television. a few days pass by and i still felt the pounding in my chest and headachs so i had to go to my doctor. from there he diagnosed me with depression and gad. he sent me to a phsyciatrist from there I had therapy sessions and had to take medicine. For awhile it began to work, i was feeling better but then as time went by i noticed i would stay indoors alot. but i was able to go out of places with family and friends around. at first it was hard but then i got use to it, i was even able to go to universal studios but was too afraid to go on the rides. everything seemed fine but then a few days ago i had to go out of town with my sis, the same sis who was there when i had my first panic attack. it was all fine in the morning and then when we got to the gas station my legs began to get cold and i started shaking, i felt as if i ws getting no air. I asked my sis if we could go home but she said no that we had to take the car to the mechanic at the next town. i went inside the gas station to pay the lady and i got back inside the car. we began to drive into the freeway and i was feeling better a little but then that feeling of getting no air kicked in. I began to freak out and i begged my sister to drive back home or to the hospital but she said no that i had to get over it. she started screaming at me and i began freaking out more, breathing heavily and taking off my seatbelt tryign to opent he car to get out while it was in motion. She yelled at me to calm down and i called my other sis and i told her what was happening, she told me to calm down and take deep breaths. now when i heard my other sisters voice i felt ebtter but when she hung up after i calmed down i began to shiver. we got to the car mechanic and i felt like there was no air again but i tried to ignore. as we were walking around walmart i felt depressed because of what happened. i kept thinking to myself of how this was going to ruin my life and i couldnt go out of town because of it. i started walking in circles and shaking, my mouth was getting so dry and i felt like screaming. we eventually went home but i was feeling scared. Now after that day i have been to scared to go out.. I can't even go tot he store with my famiyl without freaking out about not agetting air. thats hwo it mostly starts, when i leave the hosue i feel as if im getting no air. even today my sis asked me to go out of townw ith her today and i begged her not to take me and i even began crying. i fear that this parnoia is taking over my life... i can't even take one step out of the house.. its ruining my life and i can't take it anymore i want to break free from it! I feel as if im going crazy and that i might end up doing something stupid. I feel like crying on my bed and asking for help. i also feel lieksleeping all day and doing nothing..
i also forgot to mention that my therapy sessions ended months ago be cause i had no more medical insurance and that my medications ran out too so i haven;t been taking them or seeing my therapist and psychiatrist. they told me if this happens to elt them know and that theyll fax my meds to the pharmacy so i can cont taking them while i get my insurance figured out but everytime i went they would say they never got a fax and this happened more then 8 tiems so i just gave up on it.
i need help plz... i want to be able to go outside without worrying about me losing air.. and i want to not have this phobia anymore.. i ahve tried everything but nothing seems to be helping me