Hello and welcome! I know what serious anxiety is like and how it can make your mind feel like it is flying apart. You are not alone and you do not have to give up on your dreams. I started suffering panic attacks when I was 24 and at 32 upgraded to full blown GAD. In that time I dealt with my husband's deployment, bought our dream farm (I train horses), started my own business, and grew it from 3 horses to almost 20. I am now 33 and have just gone on meds for the first time. It was a big decision but feeling like I was on speed all day was just getting to be too much, especially when working with 1300lb animals who can sense their rider's mood.
I have to ask: have you gone to see a doc or a psych doc or is this a self diagnosis? If you have not gone to a doc, do so! The first doc I went to I did not like (I felt like she was just trying to get me out of the office as fast as possible) but she prescribed me Wellbutrin ... what a mistake! I switched docs to a man who is very attentive and really listened to me and he gave me Zoloft and Xanax (which I had had before for panic attacks) to get me over the initial hump while the Zoloft kicked in since that can take up to six weeks. While the start up side effects were unpleasant I am now at the end of week three and finally starting to feel better. Therapy may also be an option for you but really, anything is better than trying to go it alone.
I am proof that you can get through this and even move forward with your dreams while you deal with it. I have a great husband, family, friends, and this online community for support so I never feel like I am alone, or the only one who has ever gone through this. You are not alone either and you are not the only person ever to feel this way...many others have and many others have come through it to achieve their goals and dreams. Hang in there and keep me posted!