I am 22 (female) and I have nothing... no friends, no love life, no self-esteem or anything. All I ever had was a toxic and controlling family that made me feel worthless. I've been told my whole life that no one will ever love me or like me by my family members (siblings and cousins). I got bullied in school and got blamed for it by my family and therefore, I felt like I deserved it and that everyone is going to trea me like that. I have had social anxiety and although it is a lot better now, but it is still there because I have no self-esteem. Now, I have really bad GAD, and I become highly anxious for no reason. I think irrational a lot and become scared for no reason.
I sit alone 24/7 and I have to hear from my family how I am so much of a failure, and then whenever I try to achieve something they stop me and say that they don't want me to do that.
My GAD has gotten so bad, that I can't even hold a job for more than 2 weeks. Although, I haven't found my thing yet. I sit in my room and pace back and forth when thinking about how I have nothing and how everyone is living there life while I have nothing. I sit and think that my life is pretty much over and how I have nothing or no one. I have no one to talk to because no one takes me serious and they talk to me like I am an animal in front of everyone.
I am nervous all the time, and I view myself in a extremely negative way. I never met a human being who ever loved me or liked me for real there has always been a motive. I wake up some mornings terrified and worry through the whole day. Due to my GAD, you all are probably thinking that I am over-exaggerating with the family issues, but that's not so... because other family members and other people witness it. I have a lot of people praying for me, they say.
My life is just pretty much over... 22 with nothing. Haven't even got a start on life. I want to go to college, meet people and become a whole new person. But it feels impossible to do.