Nah, don't apologize lol... I was the queen of reassurance seeking way back. I found out though it didn't help in the long run at all. Just made me feel better temporarily. The way to go for me was to accept fears and face them, challenge them .
Don't apologize for seeking reassurances....it is part of our 'recovery', so to speak. ALL
HA peeps seek reassurances (or they have in the past). It's "have in the past" is where we wanna get, ultimately and eventually:) Lots of HA peeps are at a point where their minds have become pretty darn hardwired to seek a 'quick fix'....get some temporary relief as fast as we can. Sucks being panicked and scared for our future (and our family's future)...and we will do pretty much anything to peg down our hyper anxiety, at times. I was there, as well....and it progressively gets worse (the reassurance seeking) if we don't throw in a wrench, somewhere, to break the fear cycles.
Don't begrudge yourself...don't beat yourself up by saying, "Well, damnit, anxiety got the best of me AGAIN and I went to the Doc and had another blood test!". Or, "Crap, I googled AGAIN! I knew I shouldn't have but I did....I was just soooooo scared!".
Accept this as something that can lead us more readily to a healing path. Be compassionate to ourselves. But, DO NOT give ourselves blanket immunity from our own actions and habits. We STILL do have freewill, eventhough we have the compulsions of anxiety driving us, at times. Accept that there will be no lasting
peace while we embrace counterproductive measures and work your way towards removing these behaviors and actions. The rollercoaster of fleeting
relief is a bitch....the continual ups and downs when seeking out lots of reassurances are a massive grind, as we all know.
If we are stuck in a current cycle of seeking out lots of reassurances and we are still doing not so well, ask yourself when do you think you might begin to feel better by continuing with the same patterns of habits?
Ultimately, something's got to give. And, anxiety sure doesn't like to let go of its control...that is for sure. It loves staus quo, when we are struggling. We have to make the changes:)
Peace and Feel Well:)