You sound a lot like my son. He has social anxiety, but had refuse to seek help, trying to push himself on his own. You should be proud of seeking help. He felt this way through high school, and it eased a bit in college. We are seeing him develop a new confidence in the workforce. I hope you find the support and discover how important you are....people will be the fortunate ones to get to know you :) As for being an outcast...even those who are the popular ones are outcasts in their own way. It's our quirks and differences that make us all special and interesting to know. People do realize that and appreciate that as they get older.