This isn't going to be one of those long, fancy posts I usually write because I'm feeling really tired and mood-less. So I had a great start in the day. Had a wonderful dream that made me feel confident and energized, woke up, had breakfast, did this and that and then I went to college to talk to a teacher. Going to college always gets me in the anxiety zone because of past experiences, so I kind expected my mood to dwindle. Meh, I had to do this. So I ran to the subway station, and realized my card must've slipped inside my jacket's pocket. Unlucky.
I run back home, feeling pumped up and anxious and sweaty because I ran and ran and climbed the stairs up to the 4th floor. I run back to the subway. When I get in the actual subway, my heart races like crazy, and I feel a bit out of breath. I breathe slowly, telling me that if this is a panic attack, I will endure it. I wanted to cough so bad and take one of those DEEP breath, but I didn't. The damn thing subsided, but I felt kind of crap afterwards. I talked to my teacher, came back home, and here I am, sitting at the PC and feeling totally exhausted, most likely because the adrenaline wave is over.
I didn't get extremely pissed about it, nor I beat myself over this. That thing had to be done. But bloody hell, why today?! I haven't had such a great day in months! Everything was perfect. I was feeling lively and happy and awesome, and now this setback had to intervene. So bloody annoying. I don't want to be pissed. I know what happened and why, but I still am. Why is that?
I'll have to get on with my planned activities though. I don't expect to get great results with my current mood though. So bad.
See you guys later :)