I havent been here for while because, although I get a huge amount of scary symptoms every single day, I have managed to just feel the fear and hypochondria without too much reassurance from others who are going through this but for the past couple of months I have a new symptom that is hard for me to deal with.
It seems to have started around the same time that I started experiencing this horrible thing where I would wake up in the middle of the night and not have any idea where I was or who my partner was (who was lying right beside me) I would try really really hard to remember and it would come to me in about 10 seconds but during the 10 seconds I would be really panicky, heart beating fast and I would have the feeling that I was never going to 'remember again'.
Anyways, whether this is related or not im unsure but I have started getting this feeling of disorientation/fear of forgetting where I am/who I am etc constatntly-more so when I am out of the house with my partner ( I am agoraphobic). So basicly, when we go out, sometimes it seems like I dont recognize where I am even though I know that I know where I am and I have this feeling like im on the verge of completely forgetting where I am/who I am/who my partner is or whatever. I also get this feeling at home sometimes when im trying to go to sleep, I will have to open my eyes to make sure I remember where I am.
This is not just a forgetfulness type feeling, its a full-on fear of not being able to remember normal things- Where I am/Who I am/What street im on/Where my house is/What my name is, etc. It seems very very real that its about to happen although it never does and things feel very foreign. Im constantly reminding myself of details to check that I have forgotten.
I try my hardest to just get on with it, but its not as easy as ignoring the numb face or skipped heart beats because the thought of not being able to remember where I am or whatever-that is extremely frightening.
So I just wanted to know if anyone has experienced anything like this? If so, tell me your story/how it felt. I am desperately trying to ignore the 'brain tumour' thoughts. Or does anyone think I actually need to get things checked out with a doctor? I do have other symptoms that could indicate a tumour but like I said I dont really wanna go down that road seen as im 90% sure ALL of my symptoms are from my panic disorder.
If youve read all of this, thank you very much!