I'm fairly new to this site, I've already found so much help just by reading everyone's stories and knowing that I'm not in alone in this, I haven't really posted much, I'm really bad at saying how I feel and opening up, but I've just keep all this bottled up for way too long.
Lately (more or less in the last few days..) I have been exhausted; struggling with stress, anxiety/panic attacks, & depression. So I've been trying to keep my self busy & my mind off the fact that my life is going in the complete opposite direction, then what i had pictured it to be going at this point in my life. I'm always trying to do something to keep my mind off of thinking too much; because my mind is bombarded with thoughts as soon as i lay my head to a pillow or try to sit back and read a book. As soon as i try to relax the anxiety/panic attacks come in, & all the stress i already had piles up. I just I feel like my panic attacks are holding me back from moving forward with my life, It's like i'm stuck in this forever falling hole and i have no way to get a ladder and climb my way back out. It just seems when one thing starts to fall into place three other things start go wrong, The idea that you can't win, & are constantly fighting with yourself is exhausting, Especially when trying to explain so someone why you don't want to leave the house because you were over thinking and scared your self so much that you cant leave, or to go to a family event or shopping, just normal things people do everyday, it's like a never ending battle. Every time i try to open up to someone about this they tell me that i need to just get over it because everything is going to be okay, but unless you experience the fast heart beat, dizziness along with nausea & the enclosed gasping for air,feeling that you get during a attack, you can't truly understand what its like to feel that way. I think the most upsetting part about it, is the fact that i try so hard to make people happy; my friends, my family, anyone that iím around. i try to appease, to be myself & hope that it works. iíd do anything for any of my family/friends if iím able at the drop of a hat. I rarely open up to anyone but i realize if i ever really need to i couldn't, I donít have anyone that i confide anything in, I can't rely on anyone to help me when i need to be talked down from a panic attack & it literally makes me feel like I'm impossible to be loved. Maybe I'm too scared to open up to them because i don't want them to judge me, or I don't want to burden with me being upset or in panic. I just feel like i could spontaneously combust from the amount of stress that has spilled over the last few days.
Surprisingly i feel so much better getting all of that out in the open, I feel like the weight off my shoulders lifted just a little, so i just want to say thank you so much to anyone that's reading this, if anyone is.
But I have a few question for anyone reading this,
How do you deal with stress when things aren't going the way they should?
Do you just let things fall into place at its own pace, or do you work towards making them go right?
If you don't have anyone to go to when you have a anxiety/panic attack, what do you do to calm your self down?
What kind's of things do you do if you're not able to sleep? (Because you can't stop thinking)
Thanks again for reading, I hope you all have a wonderful day! :)