Hey everyone! I just joined a while ago, after realizing anytime I searched for anxiety-related questions, I was always lead to this site. Some things I've found here have been extremely helpful.
Quick background: I was diagnosed with GAD about a month after I had a traumatic fainting episode where I was working. I won't go into detail, but it caused me to have severe anxiety when I worked there so I changed to a different department. This was about eight/nine months ago. I went through a few phases of physical anxiety symptoms, each phase lasting about two months: first I had a heart sinking sensation very frequently, after a few months that turned into chest tightness, then it turned into a lump in the throat feeling, and then I was relatively fine for quite a few months during the summer! However, anxiety reared it's ugly head at the beginning of September in the form of seriously TERRIFYING intrusive thoughts (the word "0119" would pop into my head and FREAK ME OUT! I have never even thought of it other than reading about it in the news in my entire life)! Naturally, I contacted a therapist (previously I hadn't seen one). I've met with her a few times now and those thoughts have finally dissipated, only bothering me every now & then. Obviously other than those thoughts, my GAD has been quite mild! The intrusive thoughts caused some of my early symptoms to come back though.
The issue I'm currently having is a fear of developing depression. I'm sure it stems from the intrusive thoughts I had. The thought of not enjoying life or suddenly not being the happy, optimistic, grateful person I have always been is just unbearable. I have read so many articles about people who have both anxiety and depression. Luckily, I've taken almost every "depression test" I can find online (and looked up symptoms, even unusual ones) and the tests always return a result that says "No depression." I don't feel depressed at all- I'm just terrified that it will come about later in life or something. Just typing this is making my heart rate skyrocket. I think it stems from anxiety about the future and not being able to control whether bad things happen to me or not. I've never had anything traumatic happen to me in life- I've been blessed with a very happy, "normal" childhood & young adulthood. So I'm scared that if something bad happens, I won't be able to cope with it and I'll fall into a scary depression (and if it gets bad, what would stop me from doing what my intrusive thoughts were about?!
?!) I read that Omega 3's have been found to treat depression, so I've been taking it as a preventative measure for a few days. There is no history of depression in my family- we're all a big, happy bunch!
Does anyone have any advice? I'm absolutely terrified by the thought of it. Can depression come about for absolutely no reason, even if the person is happy & nothing bad happens to them? I'm so scared... if you couldn't tell.