Im new to this site, been a lurker for a while, and for some time it has helped, however I can not for the life of myself get over my anxiety and my mind. At this point i would like to be able to live a normal life and stop worrying about my health, I'm 18 and my HA is tarring my life apart.
Basically this all started back in june when I had a minor twitch in a muscle then escalated out of control. Me being stupid I googled my symptoms and in a way everything fell apart..
My Family History:
In my family I happen to have my mom's dad (Grandpa) who had a GBM (Glia Blastoma Multi form) stage 4, we believe that the cause of this is that when he was in the army he was a Army Ranger with the 82nd airborne, while he was there during his whole deployment he was in the Agent Orange(AO) deployment zones the whole time. he was there a total of ~ 2 years, and received 2 purple hearts. while everyone I've talked to blames the AO for his GBM and subsequent death I can not help but wonder at this point.
This there is only 2 other cases of cancer but they are not apart of his blood line. And in those two cases they where from lung cancer, in which we found the two people to be very heavy smokers i.e. 1 pack a day kind of deal.
I believe its important to tell you I am a body build and do take supplements such as Pre-Work-Out boosters, and more.
I am 18 years old and male.
I was diagnosed with severe depression on 5 November 2012.
I also was diagnosed on 10 May 2003 with Aspergers.
I tested a 50 out of 100 for ADHD, so I could or could not have it though my physician is leaning towards me having it.
Also i was diagnosed with the updated DSM-5's Illness Anxiety Disorder I.e. HA
So heres the deal (in order of events):
In june i had some muscle twitches which basically through me into check my lymph nodes mode, and subsequently googling things. Followed by me asking my mom about my GrandFather, which led to me googling things about GMB's. Into early june where I had some slight vision changes (I have astigmatism in my right eye and poor eyesight runs in my family), when I went I had a retinal Photo(Fundus Photo) done, In which I was all clear according to the physician/optometrist who looked at the photo, quote "I had healthy Eyes". And throughout July no problems, in mid august I went back to body building after taking a break in which I started an supplement that I owned - I found out later that the makers of it were spiking it with designer methamphetamine in other words ETH-amphetamine and N,alpha-diethylphenylethylamine, or N,alpha-DEPEA. These two stimulants caused me to get crazy angry, when I came off of it a majority of anger disappeared within a week. However also i was getting subsequents head ache / tension head aches, however, these are so small thats I would only notice them if I thought about them ( these have continued to this day, but also the are not everyday). Next i had some neck problems, but there has been any real pain or tightness, it only happened like 1-3 times but this still freaked me out. on top of that i have has some muscle fiber twitches that freak me out. On top of that i have noticed that i have mixed up my words a little and memory problems (Also when I did my ADHD testing I also had a IQ and memory testing) which I have for the time being chopped up to my partial ADHD diagnosis, ( also I have been on ADHD meds in the past and they have helped tremendously but the side effects sucked.), other problems i have had was tenitius and a rare moment were my whole hearing in an ear would disappear and reappear. sometimes after I'm done working out i will get a tension head ache, some morning I will wake up with a headache but i can chop this up to dehydration or that i knocked my pillows off my bed and has caused me problems, my vision seems to be the same but some day it is a little off (I wear contacts the need to be updated and I do not wear glasses to give my eyes a break). And lastly i had a random few days where at night i have got this weird feeling like I'm falling over) i.e. when you have Benadryl in your system, I'm not sure if it was because i was extremely tired at this point or not due my memory(I'm in midterms right now, lol) basically all these "symptoms" have appeared in 2-3 months and are all very mild, and i have looked up all over about symptoms and signs and which I want to say have caused all my problems.
Round up of symptoms:
head aches (mild)
tension head aches(mild, only after work out and they go away in 5 minutes)
mixing up words
anger (its gone now)
Loss of balance / falling feeling
- And to all of these they come and go they have never been constant everyday kind of event
I feel like I'm losing my mind, I'm tired of waking up everyday and worrying about this, I want to hope all of this is in my head, I've told my doctor all of this and he hasn't said that I need to go to the emergency room just yet but he hasn't said why my mom and family think that I am fine as I have not showed any of the symptoms of my GrandFather. I want to believe this all due to my anxiety I'm just not sure.
Any words of wisdom or help is greatly appreciated.