I don't know what's going on anymore. I'm not sure I've felt quite so out of control in the past. I just can't keep it together. Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I've had this freak out about losing weight and found myself weighing myself over 20 times a day. What the heck? Who does that? The other day I went to the Emergency Room, not even sure why. I just wanted a CT scan or an MRI or something. I'm losing my friggin mind, and I don't know how to get it back.
Today, I felt so out of touch with everything. Like everything looked different, and I felt like I might pass out. Then I started thinking, oh maybe I have a neurological issue instead of a gastric issue. Maybe I've got a brain tumor. I've already been down that road before, sure I had one, and even got a couple of MRI's that showed I don't, yet, I still found myself feeling so sick!
And that's the problem. I feel so SO SICK!! ALL the time. It's always something. Right this minute... I'm nauseous. So maybe I do have a gastric issue.
I just want to cry. I want to cry and cry and cry. Am I alone with feeling so depressed over this crazy anxiety?
I have these three amazing, beautiful children. And I look at them and want to cry some more. What will they do without a mother? Then I think, I'm barely there now. I'm constantly googling medical stuff. I mean CONSTANTLY! I sit there with my phone in hand, half talking to the kids, half google searching my latest symptom.
Please share with me so that I can feel like I'm not the only one who's gone this far off the deep end, and tell me, have you come back from that dark place?