I don't think your thoughts in any way respresent a start of paranoid psychosis. You do recognize them as irrational. Anxiety disorder is kind of based on irrational thoughts/fears.
Do not be afraid to talk to your doctor about it. My psychiatrist actually says that all people have irrational thoughts at times but don't get stuck on them or fear them. Trust me, docs have heard and saw far more extreme stories than yours
. Like in my case, when I'm anxious, I naturally feel like I'm the worst case scenario ever, like all alone with my unique problems
. However, my pdoc says my chances of getting anywhere near a hospital are practically nonexistent lol. I guess anxiety makes us self conscious and makes us doubt our thoughts and actions. We fear losing control. We strive to gain absolute control, remember every little detail we think and do... But it cannot be done. Absolute control is impossible so we need to learn to let it go.
I would recommend looking into CBT if you haven't done it already. It will teach you to divide the responsibility for things you fear (For example: you fear someone might add something to your food, so you think about it non stop and want to gain control over it...Well, no matter what you do, it's not all up to you. You usually cannot control the food at all times from its source to its mouth. So you need to accept that life is not 100% safe. We are alive, thanx god
, and therewith vulnerable.) Furthermore, CBT will make you analyze rationality of your thoughts and teach and train you how to replace the negative automatic thoughts with positive ones etc. It's quite a long, process, but a very valuable one!
Do you mind me asking if you take any meds? Sometimes when things get really rough, they take things off the edge and allow us to work on ourselves.
Feel better soon and take care!