I have always had a strained relationship with my family as a whole. I just don't know how much more I can take. We argue much more than we use to, and when we argue, we don't talk for longer periods of time. But I feel like I'm at a new low at this point. It's long, but please hear me out.
I have an 8 year old niece who I can't stand. I was 11 years old when she was born, and turned 12 1 month later. Therefore I was still pretty young when she came into the picture. She and her mother (my sister) lived with us permanently for about 6 years, when they finally moved out. During that time, I was completely neglected and felt unwanted and unloved. All of the attention went to my niece. Of course no one noticed me and my problems, but they would focus all of their attention on my niece. And as she got older, she would get me in trouble by claiming that I was mean to her, or that I yelled at her, or something having to do with hurting her feelings some way. And my parents ALWAYS believed her over me. That was like a slap in the face, since I'm their actual child and she's not. Anyway, I was always treated poorly by my parents when she was growing up because they thought I was treating her poorly, when in reality the only person getting treated badly was me by my own parents. And that never got any better with time. And I would have to watch my niece because everyone else would be at work late or out. So I had to "grow up fast" in a way. I had to watch a child that wasn't even mine because it was convenient for everyone else.
Now fast forward to the present, I have to watch her in the mornings until she gets on the bus for school. Well a few days ago, I was sitting at the kitchen table with my other sister while my niece was sitting on the couch. She wasn't listening at all (like usual) but my sister told her to go upstairs to brush her teeth before the bus got to our house. Anyway, I was finally just so fed up with my niece I finally told my sister in exact words "I just wish she was never born."
And I am sticking to that, because I do. I wish she was never born...I just wish she was never around. She's awful in so many ways. She talks back, and she gets me in trouble for no reason. Like for example if she is misbehaving and I yell at her I am scolded by EVERYONE, not just my parents, but everyone in the house. But if someone else yells at her, it's just fine. And the worst part is, my sister told my mom what I said about my niece...because later that same day when my mom picked me up from work, she asked me first how my day was and if I had any problems getting my niece on the bus that morning. Well she told me that someone told her what I said that morning about my niece. And she once again took my nieces side by saying she was totally innocent. I just said that all of the attention went to her and nothing to me once she came into the picture. My mom said to just blame herself and my dad for it. But it was a pathetic excuse for her. I haven't spoken to her since then.
I just wish that my niece was gone...along with everyone else in my family. My parents are the worst, my older brother has treated me poorly for 20 years (yes I'm 20), by calling me gay or a f***** and always putting me down no matter what. My two older sisters would call me the same names, and they would all gang up on me because I'm the youngest, while my parents just stood there. I always have to put on a brave face like it doesn't bother me but it never works. I'm Each of my siblings has attempted 0119 but none of them have gone through with it, and I'm mad that they are still here. But I just want to say one thing, what I have said may seem harsh, but trust me, you didn't grow up in my house.