So it's only been about two weeks now since I posted and had my last little OCD episode. Roughly 2 weeks back I had a one week spike where I kept having intrusive unwanted thoughts that I just couldn't seem to shake. During this episode (much like all the other ones) I routinely think tons of what if questions like, "what if these thoughts just stick and never go away", "what if I think these thoughts so much that my brain just becomes programmed to constantly think them threw habbit", "what if it doesnt stop and I just go crazy" etc.
Well the good news is after about roughly one week these thoughts and feelings subsided after getting tons of sleep and pretty much just letting the situation play itself out. I've been feeling great and back to normal with no thoughts at all for about another two weeks I'd say. However, I ended up getting the common cold from a friend which caused me to have a lot of sinus pressure in the eyes and a stuffy nose. This cold made me start to think about my vision. Ever since I was a little kid I was able to do this strange trick with my eyes where I focus on something long enough and my vision just goes blurry. Can anyone else do this? It's apparently more common then I thought. I googled it and it seems like a pretty common thing. Apparently your just telling your brain to send the signal to relax the optical nerve in the eye and it makes the vision go blurry. It's something you have control over and some people are better at it than others.
Anyway, So I started to think about my being able to do that and then came the OCD thoughts....I started thinking "OMG, what if you just keep blurring out your vision so much and it gets stuck that way" "What if you do this so many times that you just get stuck doing it threw habbit" etc etc. So now, I'm basically blurring out my vision every three seconds constantly and just becoming obsessed over doing it, and over my vision. My biggest thought and worry is obsessing over it so much that it just doesn't go away and I keep doing it by habbit and as a result can't enjoy life like watching movies, driving etc. Mind you, I've been able to do this since I was a child, only now it's become something to worry about because I've attached OCD thoughts and feelings to it this time for some strange odd reason.
Ughh,....please help. What do you guys think? Is this my OCD firing this pretty much common and harmless eye trick up? Anyone else have similar situations or episodes? Thanks!