I've reached an epiphany...
Sometimes this site makes my Ha worse.
I came on here the other day, feeling pretty good and thinking maybe I could answer some posts and help out some people. But then I opened a post about MS fears, which is MY biggest fear without realising it was about MS. And the advice was something along the lines of 'you're ok, MS doesn't appear symmetrically' and then I spiralled downwards because the thing that set my Ha off on the MS fear were crazy tingles down ONE side of my body about a year ago.
While some times this site is an absolute comfort and makes me feel so much better, sometimes it can be even more terrifying than google. (Which I ABSOLUTELY don't do anymore since it started the MS fear)
I am still worried that I have MS. I have quite a few symptoms and its so hard to forget last year's tingles, but both my general and another gpl weren't worried by my tingles (a physio was and I think she was another trigger to this year of fear) and my optometrist said even though I FEEL like my eyes might be different she can't see anything that looks wrong with them, and said as its been a couple of years of my eye pressure being high, a visit to a specialist might be a good idea 'so we can both sleep better at night'.
I'm sure that after seeing so many people (especially 2 GPs) and an optometrist thorough enough to run a field of vision test two years ago because my eye pressure was on the high side - someone would have seen something if anything looked unusual...
So. Long story short...ish
I realised that if this website is causing my Ha to trigger and is actually going to make things harder to deal with, I would be smart to not come on here.
From now on (and hopefully this will last through my next big scare) I am going to pretend that the Internet doesn't exist at all in relation to my health. If something doesn't feel right with me, I'll see my doctor who is actually trained and has clinical experience in dealing with unwell people and those with neurological problems (like every GP).
If the Internet didn't exist last year I wouldn't even know what Ms WAS let alone lose a whole year being so afraid of it.
I want to thank everyone for their kindness and amazing advice :)
Hope you are all doing better!