Hey everyone. I'm relatively new here and I'd like to take a minute to explain where I'm at and how I'm feeling. I'm doing this because I'd like to get some leads or reassuring words or maybe even talk to someone who shares my concerns or issues. Here we go.
I'm consistently pressing my hand to my chest to re-affirm that my heart is still beating or at least beating regularly. I realize how crazy this is, but, I find a comfort in checking it regularly. Ever since I've begun this habit, I'm 'conveniently' noticing chest pains. I've been to the ER once for cheat pains so bad that it lead me to believe I was having a heart attack, but I was told this was due to an electrolyte deficiency. Regardless, I have this constant fear of having a heart attack.
On a similar note, I'm constantly worried that I'll have an aneurism, or some sort of glitch in my brain or a blood clot will travel there. In other words, I'm fearing some quick, random, senseless death caused by something just completely out of my control. I believe that's where a lot of this comes from, the fear of something happening to me body that will be out of my control.
This physical health anxiety has transferred to my mental state as of late. I'm 21, and ever since my anxiety began, I've researched it obviously. This lead me to see how anxiety and depressing are connected. This lead me to researching mental health diseases such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder and so forth. Now I'm constantly terrified I will begin displaying symptoms for these conditions, considering I'm at the age where these diseases have a potential to begin.
In other words, I'm a mess. I need help. I need some guidance. This is all relatively new to me. A max of 2 years of dealing with this anxiety, but now it's getting to the point where I'm not comfortable in my own skin and it's.. it's mentally and physically exhausting. I could truly use some advice. I was seeing a therapist for a bit, and it helped some, but he immediately tried to get me on an SSRI, which I found a little sketchy. Anyway.. I appreciate any response and words of advice or otherwise. Thank you for reading.