I am new to the forum, obviously. I am not new to living with the effects of GAD, however. My estranged husband of 10years was diagnosed long before we met. When we met, he was a very centered solid man with more compassion than I have ever met in another human being. My golden had more, but well... he was a golden. The future Ex was bully on mental health, mine and his. I have had a pretty rough life, multiple abuses, beginning with sexual abuse at the age of 3. He insisted that I get my proverbial compost heaped before we started down the road of a relationship. It was amazing. Thanks to him, I did just that. He, however, within a very short time of our marriage let his own care slip. When it was time for him to graduate college, he had a total meltdown (not the first, but to that point, the worst). I made sure his final projects were completed, printed and ready for his portfolio show. I also prodded him to return the calls of those who expressed interest in hiring him. We got through it. When everyone was let go a year later, it took everything to get him to keep trying. The group he had worked with decided to start their own endeavor, it took a year of unemployment to get him to join them. At various points after that, we had the all too frequent "come to Jesus meeting"... every one on both sides of this understands, I am sure. "Husband.... I am not ever kissing you again if you do not brush your teeth. I understand you have clinical depression and GAD, but you cannot expect me to kiss that. Love ya, but I am not your mom and I am getting tired of the role." "Husband. Showers are necessary... see last CTJM...." and so on. When money was tight, he quit counseling and meds... his therapist has seen him for YEARS and was more than willing to waive the fee to keep him on track. "I am fine." He would say. He also quit taking his meds. He didn't need them anymore. I found programs to help the financially unfortunate... when the economy tanked, there were so many of us. He was fine. I, in the meantime, tried to stay positive. This is a GOOD man! He really is. Recently, I was talking spiritual matters with a friend of mine and it hit me like a bolt from the blue. I am enabling him. Why does he need to take care of himself mentally, physically, spiritually, when I do it for him?!? I walked in to the house with a greater sense of peaceful detachment than I ever thought possible. "We are done," I said. "I will no longer be responsible for your care." 10 years is a long time. I am dealing with a great sense of loss, despite being the initiator, completely without anger or honestly any judgement. He is not a BAD GUY because of this. He is simply a man who got so wrapped up in his spouse he forgot to stand tall and strong. I have hope that he will regain that sense of self that he has lost. I really don't want to be married to him anymore, though. I am not sure I would be able to trust that he would not do the same thing in another 10. Time will tell.