I deal with feelings of anxiousness pretty much every single day and they interfere with my life in a pretty big way. I have social anxiety and hypochondria and a fear of my partner dying even though he is a healthy and sensible 36 year old man. I struggled with a fear of death when I was quite young, as a 5 year old I would stay awake at night thinking that I may die and would go to my mothers room to make sure she was still breathing. When I started school I would isolate myself from the other children despite them wanting to socialise with me. To this day I still distance myself from people and isolate myself and cut off communication with friends very easily and sometimes never talk to them again.
My home life as a child and teenager was a bit stressful, single parent family and two younger siblings and when I left home at 18 I became more relaxed and my anxiety seemed to lift for a while. I met my current partner at 19 and after about 6 months of being together I isolated myself from my friends and really only had contact with him and anxiety set in again. I have a fear that if he is out of my sight something horrible will happen and I will never see him again. When he goes to work he has to text me when he arrives and text me through out the day and then text me when he is leaving and coming home to put me at ease. If for some reason he is late in messaging me or god forbid he can't message at all I have panic attacks. This happens every single time. We took a break for two years and the panic and anxiety stopped, now we are back together again and it's the same old story. I am 26 now and have never been on any medication for anxiety or depression and don't really want to go on any either, but I am really really tired of having these anxiety issues, and I am really upset with myself for putting my partner through this as well. It is like he is looking after a child and it's really unfair on him.
Can I get over this fear without the aid of medication? Would medication be helpful in this situation? I want to be able to be in a relationship with someone without the anxiety... The only way I know how to stop it is when I am not in a relationship, but I don't want to be alone forever either