Female, 24 years old - have been experiencing anxiety for about 2 months now.
Haven't had any panic - just a bunch of anxious/obsessive thoughts. The thoughts/obsessions have changed shape a bunch over the past 2 months- some health related / the classic "i'll never feel like myself again" thoughts. However, the ones that keep sticking around are the ones that have to do with being alive.
I find myself thinking too much about living and being alive. I don't really think it's derealization, though I suppose it could be. I also wouldn't consider myself to be suicidal but a lot of the thoughts have to do with the fact that "maybe I don't want to be alive anymore". These are the ones that I find very distressing. I don't want to feel this way and I don't think that I really do but the thoughts often convince me otherwise. An aquintance of mine committed 0119 about a month ago and this is when these thoughts began. I've also experienced a lot of loss this year (my grandfather, aunt, some family friends and co-workers) so I'm not sure if these thoughts just have to do with the fact that I've been surrounded by a good deal of mortality lately.
My anxiety is loads better than it was in August - there are a lot of times where I feel normal. But then these thoughts creep in and I start to overthink life and being alive and things like "what is the point of life", "do I even want to be alive?". Before all of this anxiety started in early August, I was perfectly happy. I have a fantastic life and no reason to be feeling this way. I just want to snap out of it but I'm having trouble! I know that anxiety can cause all sorts of weird thoughts that aren't true but for some reason I keep thinking that maybe these thoughts are more than just normal anxious ones brought on by an anxious mind.
Anyone else experience thoughts in this same vein?
Thanks so much for your help.