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Author Topic: Newbie...seeking support and advice  (Read 301 times)

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Offline Doxie Lover

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Newbie...seeking support and advice
« on: October 06, 2013, 03:23:50 PM »
Hello everyone,

I am new to the group and wanted to share my background with anxiety/panic disorder and my current dilemma.  Forgive the long postÖ

I started getting anxiety and panic attacks more than 20 years agoÖI have no idea what started it.  I donít recall depression being a cause but maybe it was and I didnít realize it.  I DO know that if I stop taking medication, I definitely get severe depression.  I have been on Prozac and now Zoloft.  I have also tried cognitive and behavioral therapy, and it helped, but only if I was constantly seeing a therapist for reinforcement.  Without a therapist to reinforce these behaviors from time to time, I find it easy to slip back into bad thoughts, etc.
Anyway, the medication has been keeping me on an even keel when there is no major stressor.  In other words, unless thereís some major event or change going on in my life, Iím OK day to day.  However, whenever thereís a major stressor, my anxiety and panic attacks are strong than the medication.  I am going through that right now.

After two consecutive job layoffs because of the economic downturn, I returned to my hometown to help my sister care for our mother who has Advancing Alzheimerís in addition to going to college full time so that I could complete my Associateís degree (Iím not young Ė I just went to college late in life).  Now that Iíve graduated, itís time for me to try and get back to work full time, and I am freaking out for several reasons:

1.   Iíve lost confidence in myself and my abilities.
2.   I have never worked in my profession in the state that I currently live, and my job requires being an expert at certain state laws and regulations.  While I am trying to get up to speed, Iím certainly no expert at this stage. 
3.   Somewhere deep down, Iím not sure that I enjoy what I do for a living.

My fear is getting fired.  Iíve never been fired, and even if I suspected that it might be coming, I have always left a position first.  This comes from a deep-seated fear of failure.  I have no idea why.  Maybe because I have always been self-supporting (I am a loner primarily because of anxiety disorder although I do have close friends) and know that there will be no one to support me if I canít. 

So I guess Iím wondering if there are any of you who have been in a similar position.  How have you gotten past getting fired and picking yourself up again?  Or even beating the fear of job hunting when you have been out of work for awhile. 

Thank you for your support and suggestions.
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Offline Pippy187

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Re: Newbie...seeking support and advice
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2013, 11:51:41 PM »
I can't say that I share the same experience as you, however I do share the same outcome of feelings in confusion and sort of a lost state. I'd like to welcome you to the forum and I hope you can find the support here... AZ really is a nice place to vent and swap experiences.
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He who fears death cannot enjoy life

My anxiety blog: http://pippy187.wordpress.com/

Offline Doxie Lover

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Re: Newbie...seeking support and advice
« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2013, 12:25:37 PM »
Thanks Pippy...appreciate the support.
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Offline caprice131

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Re: Newbie...seeking support and advice
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2013, 03:38:56 AM »
I've actually experienced something similar to you, except I did get fired.  Yup, it sucked, especially when I had to collect my things that same day and leave in the middle of the workday, which makes it pretty obvious that I got fired.  I had constantly worried about getting fired, so it was especially upsetting when it happened.  I too didn't have confidence at work, and it was really stressful for me. 

However, that night I happened to watch a show about a young man who only had one arm, and had become morbidly obese as a result of the depression he fell into.  The show was about him losing weight, and learning how to ride a bike, something he had always been afraid to do.  His struggles really put things in perspective for me, and I started thinking about how there are a lot of things that are a lot worse than getting fired. 

Also, I realized that I had hated my job because it was so stressful, so being fired was a blessing in disguise, in a way.  Now, I work part-time as a tutor, and am a lot happier.   I enjoy what I do and don't hate going to work anymore. 

This is a lot harder than it sounds, but don't worry too much about getting fired.  It may seem like the end of the world (at least that's how I felt before it actually happened) but in the end it's really not.  I totally understand your fear of being fired and how scary it can be.  But I was able to pick myself up, pluck up the courage to apply for a new job, and now I feel like I am in a better place.  Hang in there.  The anxiety sucks but in the end staying hopeful and grateful for what I have has been the best solution for me :).  Take care and I wish you the very best of luck! 
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Offline Doxie Lover

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Re: Newbie...seeking support and advice
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2014, 09:35:39 AM »
Caprice,

I have been offline for awhile...things have gotten so hectic.  But I read your post and your experience is encouraging.  Thank you for that....it really helped to know that someone else knows that exact feeling.  Luckily for you, you found something you liked and were able to do part time.  I support myself, so working part time or taking a major pay cut to change occupations is not a luxury I have.  And THAT is what adds to my anxiety.

Cheers!
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