Iím going on 23 years old and have been struggling with health anxiety for the past several years. At one time or another my mind has convinced me of going blind, deaf, schizophrenic, having colon cancer, aortic aneurysm, parkinsons, manganese poisoning and just recently I thought I was about to die of bacterial meningitis.
This new HA issue started for me a few days ago after I became interested in Stephen Hawkings while watching a show about his theories on the universe. I was compelled to google and learn more about him. When I found out ALS caused his debilitation I did not know what it was and looked it up. Once I learned about als, I became distraught over it. I spent days reading about it and feeling sad for the people affected by it.
I just read up on Lou Gehrig and his story had me in tears.
I am so terrified of als. It is probably the worst disease out there. After reading about it last week I began to notice these strange symptoms last night. My left hand knuckles and wrist are stiff or cramping up for no reason at all while my right side is fine. There is a stiff joint sensation in my left hand middle finger and the finger next to the pinky, altough there does not seem to be any particular weakness in my hands. There is numbness and stiffness running down my left forearm with a lot of popping when I twist my wrist. The tip of my left middle finger is numb too.
How would just reading about a disease make anxiety mimic the symptoms? The only thing I have been doing out of the ordinary is I just bought a ps3 and have been playing it a couple hours for the past couple nights. I havent played video games in years. Would doing something youre not use to like gripping a controller make one of your hands cramp up?
This is really freaking me out. I will be 23 in a few days. I have read a lot of stories about people getting this horrendous disease even in their 20's.
I couldnt help but notice the clear pattern of it usually affecting a certain type of person who is athletic, outgoing and engages in strenuous activities. This is exactly me!
I'm trying to think rationally, but somehow part of my brain has convinced me that I will get this disease at some point in my life.
I desperately want to find a way to overcome these anxieties and would like to hear from others about it.