I keep thinking I have a brain disease of some kind that's messing with my cognition, and now I'm afraid of my own thoughts. I keep thinking that maybe my thoughts will go weird or like today when I was thinking something and just stopped before my sentence or thought ended, I just was left hanging with not even an inclination to really "find" the rest of it. I was tired and just had woken up so maybe I wasn't thinking clearly enough -- it was like when you're drifting to sleep or just wake up you can sometimes not think in clear ways and thoughts go jumbly but I thought I was awake "enough" at the time that this wasn't the case (I could be wrong, I did go back to sleep after about 15 mins after peeing and all).
I'm so scared of being schizoprehnic though my pdoc doesn't think I have that (they didn't do any specific testing but I had testing when I was a teenager going through anxiety.) I just feel so adrift and like I need a neurologist to check my brain and no one's there for me. I keep trying to get one but there are none so far who can see me.
I am actually afraid to even think because I don't know what my brain will pull on me next. is it CJD, or MS or some other brain problem or disease? Or is it all anxiety?? Why would I even have a thought and not finish the thought in my head, anyway? (I was thinking, "why do I have bladder symptoms when I don't have a bladder...." and I didn't finish it with what I think I meant to which was "bladder infection/UTI". Maybe I lost my words? The sentence in my head, the thought just stopped abruptly.) Yeah I was tired and got up way too early but I have a hard time excusing it as just fatigue (or my so far untreated sleep apnea since I don't remember not finishing a thought before). I'm getting a cpap soon, maybe a week or two, it's on the way, but my cognitive stuff is making me so scared I can barely think anymore.
Anyone else have stuff like this? I'm under super stress (in laws have actually threatened to put me in a mental hospital, and also my father in law told my husband that he is going to get a lawyer to force him to turn over power of attorney for our house to him and he wants to fire him and everything -- leaving us on the street. Anyway long story but this just happened yesterday and honestly I can't take any more anxiety and worry and fear and stuff. My brain will fall apart. I have been dealing with so much with my health and body and my in laws attacking us and they just won't let me get better or have any support. They hate it that my husband is home with me and helping me.)
I feel so alone and scared.