I haven't posted in here for a few weeks because I have been feeling much better lately. My anxiety has shown up in the past year as constant dizziness, aches and pains in my neck and back, bowel trouble (so gross!), and an overall overwhelmed/frenzied feeling. Well...
The past few weeks I have felt so much better. My dizziness has backed way off. My aches and pains are manageable and I don't freak out about them (imagining that every little thing is cancer). My bowels went back to normal for the most part. And I've felt calmer overall. I attribute this to:
seeing a therapist, reading my Bible every day, starting a morning Yoga practice for the past week, and running regularly. Today has been different and I know JUST why...
I have not scheduled a therapy appointment for this week. I have not done any Yoga today yet. I have not read my Bible. I have a ton of work that I procrastinated on this week so I'm trying to jam it in this morning while my little kids play around me (hello, stress!!!!). I have aches and pains in my side and armpit; I KNOW the side is because of bad stretching habits before and after my long runs this week (10 miles and 5 miles) and I know the armpit is a swollen lymph node from a low grade sinus/respitory infection (my ears have been bothering me and I have a constant runny nose). BUT, today I have been convinced it's cancer and I can feel my breath shortening and my dizziness is rampant again. SO.
I think this week is life-changing for me. I MUST be consistant and diligent with my coping strategies. Backtracking for even ONE day makes a huge difference and allows the anxiety to creep back in through the openings I give it. I am stronger than the anxiety that loves to haunt me and take over my life. I am a calm and happy person at my core and my practices of Yoga, running, therapy, and Bible reading must be kept up!! It is AMAZING to me what can happen when you lose the connection with your body and how your mind then takes over.
I guess I wrote this as part self-discovery/journaling, part venting, and part inspiration to you all that there is hope once you find your perfect coping techniques. Acceptance is at the heart of this all too. I accept that I am predisposed to be an anxious person but I refuse to live the life anxiety wants me to live!!