During my sophomore year of college, I met a guy. He was in a fraternity and cute, I adored him from our first date, his name was Lucas. Dating someone in a fraternity was a definite change of pace as I had never been involved with Greek Life at my university. He was deeply involved with Greek Life, in several organizations besides his fraternity all for Greek Life and I, unfortunately, came second to all of them. But I was getting over my very long relationship with the woman I thought I was going to marry and who had been my best friend for years before our relationship--I was still heartbroken. And I loved having someone to call mine. But I soon came to realize that males definitely do mature slower than females, he cared more about his fraternity than me and I was seeing him once a week (if I was lucky), so just three months in, we broke up. Fortunately, I wasn't too heartbroken as I hadn't completely fallen for him, I was just "in like" with him. So I focused on myself and tried to avoid him as much as possible at our university of about 36,000 students. I ran into him a couple times, which set off my anxiety. Five months later, he contacted me and we started our relationship again, in the summer before my junior year. Since it was summer, we spent a lot more time together (still not as much as I'd like, but enough) and it was wonderful. I was actually starting to fall in love with him. Classes started up again in the Fall, and once again, I was left as second after his fraternity and saw him once a week. So in October, a few days before the one year anniversary of our first date, we broke up. I was heartbroken, I felt like I could've started loving him after that second round of dating. So I joined a couple dating sites and went on a few dates with a few different guys, trying to find another prospect. But I constantly thought of Lucas. And a couple days after Christmas, I got a drunk-text from him, stating how much he missed me. I laughed and, since it was the holidays and I was feeling "jolly," texted him back, teasing him and talking like we used to. It felt good to talk to someone who had previously made me so happy and had made me laugh like no one else. But I did tell myself that I wouldn't get back into a relationship with him, as the two past times had been the same and I wasn't one to break up and get back together and break up with someone--I judged people like that! But our sex life was great, and I loved being with him. So we started a "friends with benefits" relationship, and I actually saw him more than I did when we dated. We still dated other people, which drove me insane with jealousy (and sparked up my self-esteem issues as he dated other sorority girls--who I assume are all prettier than me [my issues run deep]), and finally, in May of this year, we talked and decided that we would only see each other and no one else. Which began our third time as a couple (third time's the charm, right?). We dated and almost two years later, realized how much we had both grown and finally started saying the three little words "I love you" to each other. It was puppy love and I was absolutely infatuated with him.
I'm still with Lucas and I love him so much. He has matured so much since we went on our first date almost two years ago (Nov. 3, 2011). He has learned how to balance me with his school work and fraternity, just as I balance him with my two jobs and full course load. We see each other at least three times a week, our sex life is great, we get along well with each other's families and I feel like I could eventually settle down with him. But, the thing that is bugging me the most and making me doubt our relationship, is that he doesn't understand my anxiety.
How do I get my boyfriend to understand my anxiety? I understand that it's difficult for males to deal with crying, anxious women, but I want my boyfriend to understand how I feel. Every time I have an anxiety attack (which includes: heavy breathing, hyperventilating, lots of crying/sobbing, shaking, uncontrollable, heart-wrenching thoughts), he just tells me "It's going to be OK;" "Try to cheer up;" "Just be happy." And him saying all of those things bothers me and hurts me.. And somewhat pisses me off, especially when I'm in the midst of an anxiety attack--which make me feel like my entire world is falling apart. My relationship with him is great, and we have wonderful times together, but he has never had too many things to worry about in life, so he doesn't exactly understand my reasons for anxiety or how to deal with it. Any suggestions??