This is my second post - I wrote to the "Generalized" anxiety section last night because I was scared to death - I just wanted to connect or write, I don't even know what - Just to vent to those who would "get it".
I'll try and keep this short and condensed, but it's hard
Brief background - I've had GAD since I was 11.
My home was severely damaged (and condemned) in Hurricane Sandy, so was my biz. Major stressors, yet I went through it all (so I thought) surprisingly unscathed by my usual panic disorder ailments: dizziness, feeling detached, sleeplessness, etc. Ya know, the vague stuff that drives you insane and makes your life miserable.
Well, 4 months into it, I no longer could drive. This was a new symptom - I've never not been able to drive. I went to my therapist who told me I was "spot on" regarding time for PTSD to set in regarding hurricane Sandy and losing my home. Ok, I could deal, at least it was contained to just driving.
Then, I woke up in severe pain - Not only that, but my joints had swelled OVERNIGHT. I went to my GP - Because of the sudden onset, she told me I had Rheumatoid Arthritis, Lymes, some kind of autoimmune or inflammatory disease, or Lupus - and if that all came back "clean/neg" then it was Fibromyalgia.
All those test came back neg. Now in full-blown HA, I wasn't convinced and made her do the lymes test again. Again came back Neg. Ok....diagnosis: Fibro caused by stress from the PTSD - I'll deal.
Then, the tingling started. Hands, face, legs. Then it settled into just my left leg and left side of my face. My leg also felt like it was "wet" and like a breeze blowing over it -
Then, the worse, horrible pains in my face - electric shocks - like the nerves in my teeth were exposed and someone was pouring sugar on them - I wouldn't wish this pain on my worse enemy. Back to GP...Diagnosis: Trigeminal Neuralgia. Just talking would set it off. Forget about eating. Now I'm freaked beyond belief because of course I consulted with Dr. Google who called it the "0119 disease" found in MS patients. My Dr., (all of 31 I must add) actually agreed with Dr. G; it's either a brain tumor or MS.
Forget my house, forget my biz, I'm now in over-the-top HA - Dr. Google became my best friend, day and night I read everything, a plethora of information....With friends like this, trust me, you don't need enemies.
It took FOREVER to finally get an MRI to confirm, or rule out the brain tumor or MS. Saturday was my appt. By now I am a MESS. My entire body felt like it was being stung by bees. Itchy, pin pricking pain ALL OVER - even in my ears. Dr. G, conferring with my GP at this point - All the symptoms added up...MS.
They told me at the testing facility that I would have the results back this morning. Needless to say I couldn't sleep or eat since Sat. The pains, numbness, bee stings and itchiness, exaggerated beyond belief.
This morning I left a detailed message with my GP with my work #, my cell # to call me the minute the results came in because I am beyond anxious, and I was popping xanax out of a pez dispenser at this point.
At work all day, trying to get through my anxiety which were; on a scale of 1-10 - I had 400.
I get home from work and find a message on my voice mail: "This is Dr. *****. I have your test results. You need to see a specialist. Call me in the morning to discuss." Are you kidding me.....???? Ummm, what kind of specialist? Oncologist for the brain tumor, or a neurologist for MS....????? By now, 10 years has been taken from my life from the anxiety. Who in the hell leaves a message like this.....?????
I called her office immediately. "Sorry, she left". I explained that this was totally unacceptable. Explained the cryptic message, explained that I'm suicidal. The nurse/receptionist agreed to read my report to me.
Ready for this: "You have two herniated discs in your neck pressing on the nerves that effect the nerves in your body - Including the Trigeminal Nerve. No tumor. No MS lesions"
Soooooo - to all of you suffering at the hands of Dr. Google, (or a 3 yr old doc) NOT ONCE did "herniated discs" come up as a possible cause. NOT ONCE in all the research I did....Nor from my Doc.
Please make a note to yourselves so you don't suffer as I did - STOP GOGGLING!!!! I was convinced I had MS, and so was my Dr.
HA is a horrible, horrible disorder - I know first hand. Even as I type this there's still a little demon in the back of my head gnawing at me that my kid for a doc got it wrong....trust me, I empathize with all of you. But there is also the "sane" part of me that sees how I've suffered for no reason.
Bless all of you - I know what you're going through....